gender reveal!!!

Today, we celebrated.
gr11

For going on four years, Thomas and I have struggled through infertility and adoption with high hopes and broken hearts. I had given up on the possibility of becoming pregnant at all and made peace with that. I was able to move forward with adoption and building our family in a way that so clearly displayed the Gospel and would allow us to live that out loud.
I feel in love with adoption – with the concept, the work that went into it, the families and women who’ve adopted and were so passionate about such a sacrificial, selfless, and loving act.
But, ultimately that is not the way God chose to allow us to expand our family.
And, we accepted that knowing that God had a beautiful plan for our lives, that He would give us the desires of our hearts, and that He is sovereign and loved us deeply.
We moved forward choosing to enjoy the summer and revisit expansion (lol) in August.

Turns out, God blessed us in a way that I never, ever saw coming.
A way that would blow my mind, but would make so many around us laugh as they knew God would do something spectacular in our lives.

I knew to expect the unimaginable, but never thought to expect that in May I would find out we were expecting and then in June learn that we’re expecting twins.

So, today.
We celebrated the journey and our babies with a  small gender reveal.
gr3
I thought it would be super cute to frame a few of our ultrasound pictures… I wanted each gender to be a surprise so I chose to envelope Baby A and Baby B’s genders and box them with a bow…. each guest with their own box.
gr2gr1We knew the genders of both babies…. And, I had to hardest time keeping it to myself because every.one wanted to know! lol.

I couldn’t even get through thanking everyone for coming, but thankfully Thomas stepped in and took over explaining a bit of our journey, thanking everyone, and giving little tidbits about each of the babies. He also went around taking a poll of what everyone’s thoughts about the genders!
I jumped in to lead everyone through opening their boxes; we opened each enveloped together which was really fun and exciting!

And, the envelopes held the genders of each baby…
photo.PNG-2
YAY!
TWO GIRLS!!!
Although, I was hoping for a combo pack…. a girl and a boy…. I am so grateful and thankful to prepare for two girls!!

Once we came home, although completely exhausted, utterly/uncomfortably full, I took our weekly photos and got to relish opening a box and enjoying the envelopes myself!
gr4gr5gr6gr9

 We’ve had a long and tiring yet beautiful and eventful day.
Next up…. the baby shower!

Time is winding down and I’m sure the day we are to meet our girls will be here before we know it!!!
gr10

And, for all of you who have been rooting for us, journeying with us, praying for us, and encouraging us for any length of time:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You have no idea what your support means to us, what your emails, comments, texts, and messages touch us.. touch me.
I am so grateful for you and your excitement, love, and joy for our daughters and this new chapter in our lives is nothing short of breathtaking and surreal.
Thank you.

Signature

… and, then there were 3

Writing a post announcing that a baby, our baby, was on its way has been a dream of mine for almost ten months since we decided to adopt. But, our journey to having a family has been a long three years. I’ve been itching to write it for a couple of weeks now. I’ve really been trying to wait so that other things we have planned to happen will align with the announcement. However, we’re constantly being asked about our process and I hate to withhold information that I know so many people have been praying about.happy

So.

Thomas and I are anxiously anticipating the debut of a little one who we faithfully believe is growing healthy and strong for its debut May 7th.

As usual, I’m breaking rules and following my heart in telling the news earlier than you’re “supposed” to, but I believe that those who have prayed for and supported us more than we could have ever imagined, deserve to know.baby m

I know that many of those people keep up with us via this blog. I appreciate the outpouring of love and support I’ve received from my readers, friends, family, and ‘netbuds who have linked arms with us and committed to battling this thing with us. You’ve been so amazing.

Three years ago, I started this blog to chronicle our journey through infertility and to a child. From the very beginning, that first summer Thomas and I began fertility treatments, I told him that if I were to become pregnant, I would want to share the news with you early. I believed that if you were praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me during the treatments and hardest times that you would definitely be there if something were to happen. I didn’t feel that it was something to hid or protect myself from.

And, I still believe that.alaina at door

So, here we are. Making one of the hugest announcements of our life. An announcement that testifies to God’s goodness and His faithfulness. To answered prayers of strangers, family, and friends. Prayers of a community of women who I know have my back, who have been so helpful, and love me unconditionally. My gosh you have been by my side through so much… To you ladies who prayed that my heart would turn towards adoption – whoa. I cannot thank you enough for praying such a bold prayer (about something I told you I wasn’t interested in! Lol) and I praise God that your prayers were answered. That he knew so much better than me. That God didn’t choose to allow me to wallow in my foolishness. That He didn’t keep me from experiencing such an amazing act of love. This situation alone has taught me that I never need nor want to be in the driver’s seat of my life.alaina

Please, please continue to pray for our family. (We’re gonna have a family, y’all!) We’ve been praying for our baby and our birth mom since we decided to adopt but now, but now….. our prayers are so different. Not about “a” child we’re thinking of but about a real person who’s developing moment by moment, piece by piece. If you can say that about a human. Lol. God already has it’s life mapped out. One of my most fervent prayers is that if we do nothing else right, we lead thr child to Christ. That we show and tell him/her of a relationship with an amazingly faithful Lord and Savior.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully express how good this feels. It’s such a relief to finally see the “end” of such a difficult time… years of such deep heartache. The “end” of feeling as if God’s hand was not on us.full fam

The “end” of such one kind of heart wrenching prayer and the beginning of another kind. Praying for our child and its soul. Its emotional, mental, physical health and stability and the desire to love God with its heart, mind, and soul.

But, now.
I know that God sees me. I know His plans are best. I’m so glad that He took my plans and completely wrecked them.
God has literally given me everything I desired at exactly the right time. The fact that my little one will be born at the end of the school year is miraculous! Educators across the nation understand this – I’ll get to be with my baby all summer. All summer. A summer of loving on him/her, getting to know them, and just plain ol’ staring at the wonder of an amazing God. A God who has taken our grief and given us an amazing blessing. I feel like as if Hannah may have felt this same way.mama fox

It’s beautiful to see so many things falling into place effortlessly. Without struggle or with the feelings as if we have to “make” it work. It’s beautiful to see that God has created an unwavering trust in Him that frees me of worrying about anything no matter how they may appear.horiz hands

I honor my wait. I respect it. I will never, ever forget such difficulty. It drew me to my God. If expanding our family was a piece of cake, for me (please read the emphasis!), I would have missed out on so much. I would have missed God. I wouldn’t willing rest on the potter’s wheel. I wouldn’t understand that I could find such a peace and joy that withstands and overshadows the worst of circumstances in my God. I wouldn’t have a maturity that allows me to see past the now and respond with gentler words that restore and to wait patiently. I wouldn’t know redemption the way that I do. I wouldn’t know or have the husband that I have now. And, THANK GOD, he doesn’t have the wife he had before.

This wait has been good to us and for us. It was painful but it was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.

Our baby is coming, y’all…shoes book band

To those of you who have been so supportive and loving. Who have prayed for us and cried with me and for me. Who have gone through this with me as if you were in my shoes – I can never thank you enough. Ever. A good friend sticks closer than a brother. And, I luckily have three bio sibs and I have good friends. My sisterfriends. You guys are my everything. My Insta-friends – y’all. I’m thankful for social media and the way God puts his people together and forms a community of adoptive mamas who support each other, pray for each other, and are there . It’s amazing how relationships have been formed and how I’ve gotten to know you.

My heart has never been so full and I hope that one day I can look back at this moment in time and realize that my heart wasn’t as full as I thought it was. I pray that God continues to use me, my family, our story, and our children to testify to His goodness and do great works for Him. I pray that my heart and work swells for Christ and His desires and that I never quite feel that “enough” has been done to honor and glorify Him.

… here’s to recognizing and learning that suffering is never to weaken you but to strengthen your faith, your heart, your relationships, and trust.

… and, here’s to my baby. I’ve waited for you. I’ve prayed for you. You have a name. A room. A couple of pairs of shoes. And, a mommy, daddy, family, and friends who can’t wait ‘til you get here, but take your time; don’t rush. You are worth the wait.

name

Signature

… good gifts

20130911-130114.jpg

Matthew 7:11
“If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask?”

Finally becoming emotional at the goodness God is displaying to my husband and I. It’s unreal & had completely, utterly awestruck.

Our God is so good. He hears us. He sees us. And, He will trade make something beautiful of our ashes.

… here’s to believing a faithful God when He says that He will give you the desires of your heart if you seek Him.

Signature