… h & c • 23 wks

20140101-081847.jpg

23 weeks… This seems so unreal.

My girls will be here in a few very short weeks.
Because we’re expecting twins, our goal week is 35 weeks. So, we have literally 12 weeks to go before the girls make their little debuts.

Twelve weeks isn’t very long but because there have been a few complications and the obvious move from full mobility to limited bed rest and possibly soon full bed rest, each day is incredibly important.

Every week, until our girls arrive, I will be posting what week they’re on & the development that happening with them. I’m asking that you pray for our girls’ health & that they are developing as they should and that they stay put for as long as possible. Although we know that medicine is constantly advancing & they could survive with some serious medical intervention at 24 weeks (a week away), we also know that it is best for them to remain in utero.

So!
This week……
Size: mango
We have some major brain development going on! Their little cerebrums (where intellect, motor control, & memory are located) are developing folds & other regions of the brain are also developing. Their lungs are still maturing & hearing is also improving! & they’re moving quite a bit!

The girls have been active for a while and our prayer is that continue to play, stretch, and try to find comfortable positioning the rest of their stay!

I’m believing God for their overall health…… I know you’re trusting Him, too!

Will you pray with us weekly/daily for our babes??
…. And, our birth family, as well?? While this is such an amazing, amazing time for us, it’s very difficult for our birth family. We are looking forward to two very sweet, long awaited girls while they’ll experience a great loss. No matter how much we’re helping each other, it doesn’t make that truth any easier to accept or less painful. Thank you!

…. here’s to you – our support, our friends, our readers, and family. You’ve been more than we could ever ask for!

Signature

… sarah or hannah

20130818-201652.jpg

There were plenty of women in the Bible who, for a time,were unable to bear children, seven if my count is correct.

And, all of them eventually ended up bearing great men who contributed greatly in the history of our faith.

I went back to read about these women because I’ve been feeling some kind of way about our predicament. Wondering if I’m acting more like Sarah versus Hannah.

For the record, for whatever reasons, I am completely over bearing my own kids. Random. The backwards thought is that I would completely love to see who Thomas and I would create. I’d like to see a few of our creations and what they would be like, but I’m truly at peace with not having my own kids.

God has absolutely created this passion within me for adopting and orphans and there are times I wish God would bless me as He did Pharoh’s daughter (who is not one of the seven). Can a little one just be dropped in my lap?
Right now, I’m completely obsessed with fostering, but we’re still connected to our adoption agency. Annnnnd, I don’t know, WE don’t know, what to do.

I’m thankful for a husband who tries his hardest to understand me and cover me with grace as I am trying to lead my broken heart where God is pulling me… I pray for his leadership daily – I know how hard making such final & life altering decisions like this can be and for it to rest on his shoulders has to be so difficult. Especially when he sees me struggling regularly. Having to balance and choose wise decision making for your family & doing what you can to ease your wife’s pain can’t be easy. So, I work really hard to be strong and give him space to think and pray.

20130818-201737.jpg
I like to go, go, go!! But, I’m learning to “go slow”. That’s my new phrase. Go slow. Go slow and pray for guidance. This is a huge life altering decision for three groups of people – is it right? I’m big on just doing it, Nike & I think along the same lines. But, I’m also recognizing the detriment of creating a situation that could not be the Lord’s will. So, we wait. We pray. And, when Thomas says “Let’s go.” we will go in whatever direction he leads us in. (Husbands have it rough, y’all! Lets squeeze them extra tight for doing their best in leading our families well!)

I’m trying to find comfort, wisdom, & a path to follow in the lives of the six obedient women. What I can see is that while they waited, they prayed pretty hard. They cried just as hard.

I’m wondering where they were emotionally and spiritually weeks before they found out they were expecting. What did they do? I’m wondering where Hannah was… Pray and praying, committing this child she was crying out for to God if He’s only let it be. I’m guessing she’d be the mama in wait who served, read her Bible, & worshipped while Sarah, completely heartbroken & frustrated, threw her Bible across the room and gave up. Can you see them? How very different they behaved in their desperation?

Have we been Sarah? Completely & understandably worn down? Haven’t we stormed off to “do it ourselves”? I know I often regret my actions post the mini tantrum. Words spoken in hurt & anger than can’t be taken back and actions that are difficult to forgive. If we learn anything from her, it’s the beauty behind patience, endurance, wisdom, & common sense.

I love Hannah’s heart. I love how she clung to the Word & God’s promises. I admire her strength and dignity. I love how she kept her promise to give her son back to the one he truly belonged to. What an humble woman with a servant’s heart. I’m sure she cried but she was hopeful and faithful in her pain. What an example.

I’m hoping that I’ll continue to pray and cry out to God, that I stay at his feet. I’m at the place where I desire God’s direction and his shaping of me & my life more than the things I want. I’ve never been here before. It’s scary yet safe and calm. I’m not pulling away or seeking Him because I know He’s the end to desires.

I think that’s a good place. Learning to love and seek God because of who he is. His glory above my desires and my comfort.

Thank you all for supporting Thomas and I, for praying with and for us, and sharing in our struggles. It is so appreciated!!

… here’s to patiently praying and enduring these long months and years. Hope it’s over soon.

Signature

… wisdom

20130812-193932.jpg

WISDOM.

Doesn’t everyone want to be wise?
I’m not sure about you but if I had to list the top three things I pray consistently about – its wisdom.

Wisdom is the epitome of beauty – for me. It’s better than being “smart” or pretty or funny or charming.

Wisdom – knowing and seeing what should be, could be, or can be and knowing how to get from point A to point B in both direction, word, & tone. THEN, executing at just the right time.

I love it.
Today I prayed that would stay “nose to nose” with God. To me, there’s nothing more intimate than allowing another person to be directly in your face. I mean, you see and experience it all! Pimples, large pores, breathe, eye lashes fluttering on your face, stubble/skin brushing across yours, and eye contact. When you are so comfortable & in awe of that person – nose to nose is better than life. You laugh, you play, you learn, you crave more of them. You are at rest. Completely willing to embrace them and all of their person.

And, that’s where I want to be with God. So close that I completely SEE Him in His fullness and experience Him completely.

I want His wisdom. His patience. His mercy. His gentleness and strength. His boldness and compassion.

And, to think He just gives it when we ask. Without basing our portions on how often we sin or the sins we commit – He so lovingly gifts us with His wisdom when we ask in faith.

Isn’t that lovely?

I said yesterday that everything with God is comes full circle. Our God loves people. He loves for His people to love and care for people. All people. The lowest of people especially. And, would it not be more perfect than for one of the ways He imparts His wisdom to us than through relationships with other people? “As iron sharpens iron, so one persons sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17! Titus 2 tells us all about how the more mature Christian (the older) should teach the younger. How women teach women and how men ought to teach men. Sounds very much like a mentorship or sibling relationship. He knows that we learn and grow from each other. That there is wisdom in those further down the road than we are who can help those behind them grow from their experiences.

Our God is something, y’all. I’m so glad He loves on us the way He does. When we stay “cheek to cheek” with our Savior He grows and matures us into a WISE & blameless people that bring Him nothing but glory.

Praise God for that!

… here’s to our God who gives and gives and gives lovingly & endlessly everything that we need to live a life pleasing to Him!

Signature