… great grace


Soooo…… He took us in, qualified the unworthy to live confidently amongst angels, a holy Christ, & majestic God. Not only that…. He adopted us into His perfected family and is going to clean us up and forgive us of all our sins. Really? Why? Who knows. Who can truly grasp or understand the love our God has for us — especially when He has to do so much to us, he has to put in plenty work to mature us and to even get us to focus on Him.

But, I’m thankful that he chose to do it anyway. He is incredibly gracious and kind.

How could you not love Him?
He isn’t tyrannical, judgmental, nor does He rule with an iron fist.

He knows forcing someone to love you out of fear isn’t real love. He chooses to love us gently, purely, and unconditionally. The type of love that binds, frees, and lasts.

So grateful for His love and commitment to fixer-uppers cause He knows I am constantly in need of some tweaking and oiling of squeaky party.

I’m looking forward to being brought into the kingdom of His beloved Son. So, thankful for the successful rescue mission. 🙂

… Here’s to loving others past our own frustrations and comfort to serve ad befriend another who could be “not as… (Fill in the blank).” joyfully. Just as he served us. Forever thankful for an amazing role model.


… let your light shine


I can’t say that I don’t enjoy a good “starting place”….. However, I can say that change, starting, and entering into the unknown for an unknown result is scary. Challenging. And, often causes some stutter stepping.

The planner, impatient person in me likes (read loves) to GO! I don’t like to wait, pause, take a break, or anything that would slow progress. For me, when things STOP…… Well, they stop. And, it’s hard for me to get started again.
So, I am working very hard to start this task that I will continue to have a passion for that won’t allow me to break – no matter how much I feel I cannot continue.

This year, I have quite a few mini goals that will get us to “the” goals we have set and I would like to set this year.

My umbrella action item this year is to consistently ACT in a way that allows others to see Christ’s heart in me. To “allow my light to shine among men so that God can be glorified”.

This scripture is my MAIN goal for the year. The goal that will dictate the success of every relationship, interaction, and any other goal I will set/have this year.

What I realize is that in setting spiritually based goals, you will always position yourself to become the best person you can be.
Meeting the goal I’ve set for myself daily will require a passion & a love for God and the Body of Christ. It will cause me to learn more about who God is and strengthen my relationship with Him. The more I know about God and the closer I walk with Him, the more equipped I’ll be to better get along with every person I come in contact with. Those sandpaper people who rub me the wrong way are only giving me the opportunity to BE the Christian I profess to be and work on becoming the one God desires. They’re giving me an opportunity to allow my light to shine The great thing about these frustrating situations is that after the sandpaper has rubbed and scratched me, all that’s left over is a smoother more beautiful surface. On both sides.

Here is how God remarkably planned the body to change the world…..
The more sandpaper rubs against any surface, the less effective it becomes. That scratchy surface becomes much smoother because of the interactions of other surfaces!
That is the benefit of the Body being the people God chose us to be! If we all humble ourselves, serve others, live passionately for Christ with a fervor to love like He did – we will cast out all darkness. We will truly cause others to become lights and brighten up their little corner of world.

We have to decide to live for someone greater than ourselves. For the good of others. Ultimately for the glory of God.

When we take care of each other, we are all taken care of.

….. Here’s to choosing to actively, passionately, confidently, and shamelessly living and loving for Christ.

…. To living out & being obedient o the Word which is God’s plan for His children.

Welcome, 2013.


… out of the darkness

One of the hardest yet most encouraging parts of this journey is watching so many others come into mother/parenthood. One of the toughest assumptions to battle that is connected with dealing with this is that we, infertiles, are angry at or jealous of the individual. Yes, I’m sure there are some women who can lash out but our issues, at their core, are not with you mamas…. but, rather with the battles that are (literally) within us – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I am not one of those women and although this post is very candid, it is about my growth rather than another’s blessings.

I’ve said before that this is a tough life. Very hard. Very isolating. Very dark. At times, seemingly hopeless……. Especially during “baby season” and when it seems as if every time you log onto Facebook or run into friends, there is a plethora of  amazing news to share.

It’s during these times, we tend to go to “that place”. And, if you just so happen to be on your cycle during the time of announcements or during a “moment”, it’s a double whammy and the depth of that darkness is even deeper.

I went to that dark place last week. While watching the new Private Practice episode where Charlotte is angry and beside herself because she is pregnant with triplets…  after logging onto Facebook on one of “those” days where everyone has an annoucement. After coming down from a rough day.

I went there. It’s a place that pulls you in no matter how hard to try. Broken hearts are virtually impossible to escape.

I cried. Thomas came home and had that look on his face when he saw the look I had on my face. Thankfully, he knows and just let me be. Which is what I needed. I cried myself to sleep and woke up with next day willing myself to move forward.

The funny/strange part is that I woke up repeating “.. out the of the darkness that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul..” from Invictus
and after I got that in/out of my system, I moved on to singing Isreal Houghton’s “Everywhere That I Go”, then remebered Genesis 16:13 and thanked God for being “.. the God who sees me…”.

In this life it is soooo easy to forget the truths of God, to get caught up in the now, and overwhelmed with the issues of life. We forget that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and that we have someone with us who has paved our way before the beginning of time, who is with us now, and who thinks more of us than we can imagine. He sees us, our every moment, and catches every tear. He knows our deepest desires and has felt every hurt. He is with us. And, thankfully, He allows us to abide in Him, as well.

He is the light shining through the darkness giving us hope, anchoring our souls, and giving us a peace and a comfort (in the midst of circumstance) that cannot be understood.

…. He sees me. And, that is enough.