2 weeks new

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 

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This new year was pretty exciting for us because we rang it in with our girl, Logan…. Then, today, we brought home our sweet Rhyann. (Seriously, she’s sweet.) So, the old year ended and the new year began with our sweet girls with us. And, that is just about every drop of perfection I could ever imagine.

And, I can’t believe they are two weeks old. In the moment, I felt that I was in the hospital for forever, I thought the pain would never stop – and, I have a high tolerance. I thought the girls would never come home. And, it’s literally only been two weeks since I delivered, and three since I was admitted into the hospital. I think the saying goes “the days are long, the years are short” and if these two weeks are any indicator of how fast the years will fly by, I’m terrified. It’s amazing how things can change in literally a day. It’s both encouraging and heart breaking at the same time.

Two week in and we’re already starting to see patterns in their personalities, which is pretty neat. Rhyann is calm the majority of the time and she doesn’t need much; all she’ll ask is to be swaddled and fed. That’s it. Little Ms. Logan, on the other hand, is my snuggle bug. She loves to snuggle and would prefer to be in your arms than anywhere else! …. And, she has no problem with letting you know it. She also loves a swaddle and a nice bottle, but if you cuddle her close, you’ve won her over. The girls sleep like champs and are eating much, much better. We have our first doctor’s appointment tomorrow… it’s just a weight check, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m nervous about getting everyone ready and out of the house in time, but I believe if I prepare well enough it will alleviate a lot of stress tomorrow.

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See what I mean? Perfect personality capture.

I think this is the second year, I’ve ended my year with a word I want to focus on and center my life around. This year, my word is intentional. It’s so important to me because I saw the gravity of how difficult and broken things can become if we aren’t focused, brave, and thoughtful in everything we do.

One of my friends posted this scripture on Insta today and it was literally just exactly what was needed.
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:14

Now that I’m a mama, what I’m expected and called to do is so very different and much heavier than just anything I’ve ever experienced before aside from being a wife. This calling to mother, to nurture, to lead to Christ, to encourage…. To actively show patience, love, forgiveness, grace, and integrity in a way that I’ve never had to before. I have to treat my girls in a way that teaches them to trust me with everything no matter what and even in my faults and theirs. I have to behave in such a way that shows them Jesus even before they truly understand who He is. I want to love them and respect them in a way that always makes them feel like real people with real thoughts and feelings that matter.. while teaching them the balance of being a child and respecting rules, boundaries, and adults. And, that’s HARD because as adults our thoughts and priorities are so very different than those of a child, but matter just the same. Oh, and the patience. Two babies who tend to be hungry, wet, sleepy, and wanting cuddles at the same time. Two that can’t get anywhere without being carried and depend on you for it all….. takes a lot of patience. Because it’s day one, today has been much easier than I know the coming days will be, but I’m determined to be patient with my girls, especially when they can’t control or fully understand what it happening. (Sidebar: It’s funny how quickly & efficiently you ways to get things done!) Accomplishing these goals, even on the days that I try my best and still fail, require intentional planning and intentionally remaining in the moment, and intentionally staying face to face with Jesus.

I’m forming a list of ways in which I want to truly be intentional…….. and, working to not make the list so long. Probably need to prioritize and schedule some acts, but I also want to work on being intentional in the moment. I get so stinking distracted a lot and sometimes moments pass me by because I’m hesitant or scared or too into my own thoughts to focus. Sometimes it’s fear. Others it’s a time crunch and sometimes it’s just not feeling like it. Have to work on that.

Forgetting (read: {for me} forgiving) and straining – literally working to push ahead – is hard. But, so beneficial. It’s an opportunity to experience newness and growth. Am I afraid? Yes. I am. But, I’m looking forward to what can be. Looking forward to the opportunities that will be. Looking forward to watching my girls grow and experiencing life with them.

If 2015 is going to be anything, it will most definitely be sweet.

 

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a multitude of gifts

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{{The most adorable Christmas ornaments EVER…. complete with personalization and crowns!!! Swoon! … this anonymous gifter knows me well!!}}

Let’s be real.

People don’t have to like us. And, people don’t have to like our kids.

Because, truth be told, we aren’t always all that likeable and every kid isn’t either.

They don’t have to stick through the rough and tough, deal with the less than desirable sides of our personality, our awkward quirks, and the days we aren’t the most fun. We aren’t always all that likeable.

And, honestly, I know I’m not always that super friendly, incredibly kind gal who always has everything together. I can be very “hard” and bound to rules (when I want to be! lol). I’m not always easy to get along with, I’m not the funniest person in the room with the biggest personality. I’m a real and true introvert, creative, blunt, and mouthy kinda chick who has high expectations and expects everyone around me to work as hard and do as much as I do. But, on the flip side, I am also kind, giving, sacrificial, and sensitive. Sadly, the good doesn’t always overshadow the bad, especially when it should. I thank Jesus daily that grace abounds, that He has given me a heart to seek Him & follow the example He has set… to soften, to be more gentle, more patient, and more relaxed. So, I’m working on it.

In the meantime, I’ve had some die hard friends who have stuck by me, who have been there and done that with me…. I have friends who have shown up in incredibly major ways over the past few years, specifically during our adoption and this pregnancy. I’ve made some pretty awesome friends over the past year who have been more than wonderful….. Older relationships that have gotten sweeter over time, new relationships that are easy to embrace, the kind where you’re able to be transparent and give/receive encouragement & support….  Strangers who only know this little space and my Insta have been so encouraging in our journey. It’s been beautiful.

These people love me… love us… love our girls. And, for that I will never be able to find the words that truly express how it makes me feel. To know that there are people who’re invested in your children and genuinely care for them is indescribable. You’re proud, humbled, and thankful – because you know people don’t have to.

There’s a confidence and a safety felt when you know people love you – the real you. When you’re angry. When you’re sad. When you’re going through hard times and just don’t feel like it. They don’t mind the quirks, the effort, the clumsiness, the imperfectness of your being.

It’s beautiful….
And, just realizing that it’s exactly what is asked of us to do. Love our neighbor as ourselves… to forgive and to give grace and patient and endure the tough and not so fun.

Working on being all of these things when I don’t quite “click” with the person and when I feel it’s undeserved. Working on it because you deserve it. Because there are other friends, women, and mamas who are struggling, who aren’t always at their best, who have some growing and maturing to do, girls who need a friend.

… here’s to sisters loving on sisters. Day in, day out. Loving hard, loving gently, loving relentlessly and reliably… no matter what!

Post Jam: Taylor Swift Shake It Off (because it’s fun, ok?!?!)

 

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gender reveal!!!

Today, we celebrated.
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For going on four years, Thomas and I have struggled through infertility and adoption with high hopes and broken hearts. I had given up on the possibility of becoming pregnant at all and made peace with that. I was able to move forward with adoption and building our family in a way that so clearly displayed the Gospel and would allow us to live that out loud.
I feel in love with adoption – with the concept, the work that went into it, the families and women who’ve adopted and were so passionate about such a sacrificial, selfless, and loving act.
But, ultimately that is not the way God chose to allow us to expand our family.
And, we accepted that knowing that God had a beautiful plan for our lives, that He would give us the desires of our hearts, and that He is sovereign and loved us deeply.
We moved forward choosing to enjoy the summer and revisit expansion (lol) in August.

Turns out, God blessed us in a way that I never, ever saw coming.
A way that would blow my mind, but would make so many around us laugh as they knew God would do something spectacular in our lives.

I knew to expect the unimaginable, but never thought to expect that in May I would find out we were expecting and then in June learn that we’re expecting twins.

So, today.
We celebrated the journey and our babies with a  small gender reveal.
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I thought it would be super cute to frame a few of our ultrasound pictures… I wanted each gender to be a surprise so I chose to envelope Baby A and Baby B’s genders and box them with a bow…. each guest with their own box.
gr2gr1We knew the genders of both babies…. And, I had to hardest time keeping it to myself because every.one wanted to know! lol.

I couldn’t even get through thanking everyone for coming, but thankfully Thomas stepped in and took over explaining a bit of our journey, thanking everyone, and giving little tidbits about each of the babies. He also went around taking a poll of what everyone’s thoughts about the genders!
I jumped in to lead everyone through opening their boxes; we opened each enveloped together which was really fun and exciting!

And, the envelopes held the genders of each baby…
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YAY!
TWO GIRLS!!!
Although, I was hoping for a combo pack…. a girl and a boy…. I am so grateful and thankful to prepare for two girls!!

Once we came home, although completely exhausted, utterly/uncomfortably full, I took our weekly photos and got to relish opening a box and enjoying the envelopes myself!
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 We’ve had a long and tiring yet beautiful and eventful day.
Next up…. the baby shower!

Time is winding down and I’m sure the day we are to meet our girls will be here before we know it!!!
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And, for all of you who have been rooting for us, journeying with us, praying for us, and encouraging us for any length of time:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You have no idea what your support means to us, what your emails, comments, texts, and messages touch us.. touch me.
I am so grateful for you and your excitement, love, and joy for our daughters and this new chapter in our lives is nothing short of breathtaking and surreal.
Thank you.

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