dreaming

IMG_6084.PNGThese girls are my dream. I’m looking forward to doing life with them. Manicures/pedicures, tutus and tights, and baking and crafting with them by my side is my dream. The dreams and secrets and knowing glances and facial expressions that will be passed between the three of us and shared in quiet, private moments will be the joy of our relationship that I pray will grow into a friendship as we all grow older.

I already pray their relationship, our relationship, their boyfriends and husbands, their girlfriends, and experiences.

My prayers are that their lives are beautiful and full. That they have swollen hearts for Jesus and do great things for His cause. I pray that they are kind and gentle, strong and independent, wise and witty, smart and humble.

I pray that I am able to lead them with wisdom, selflessness, and grace. That my very dry/awkward humor, abrasiveness, and hard perfectionism doesn’t callous them.

My girls. I’m so grateful for them and am just in awe of them.

I can’t wait.

Signature

gender reveal!!!

Today, we celebrated.
gr11

For going on four years, Thomas and I have struggled through infertility and adoption with high hopes and broken hearts. I had given up on the possibility of becoming pregnant at all and made peace with that. I was able to move forward with adoption and building our family in a way that so clearly displayed the Gospel and would allow us to live that out loud.
I feel in love with adoption – with the concept, the work that went into it, the families and women who’ve adopted and were so passionate about such a sacrificial, selfless, and loving act.
But, ultimately that is not the way God chose to allow us to expand our family.
And, we accepted that knowing that God had a beautiful plan for our lives, that He would give us the desires of our hearts, and that He is sovereign and loved us deeply.
We moved forward choosing to enjoy the summer and revisit expansion (lol) in August.

Turns out, God blessed us in a way that I never, ever saw coming.
A way that would blow my mind, but would make so many around us laugh as they knew God would do something spectacular in our lives.

I knew to expect the unimaginable, but never thought to expect that in May I would find out we were expecting and then in June learn that we’re expecting twins.

So, today.
We celebrated the journey and our babies with a  small gender reveal.
gr3
I thought it would be super cute to frame a few of our ultrasound pictures… I wanted each gender to be a surprise so I chose to envelope Baby A and Baby B’s genders and box them with a bow…. each guest with their own box.
gr2gr1We knew the genders of both babies…. And, I had to hardest time keeping it to myself because every.one wanted to know! lol.

I couldn’t even get through thanking everyone for coming, but thankfully Thomas stepped in and took over explaining a bit of our journey, thanking everyone, and giving little tidbits about each of the babies. He also went around taking a poll of what everyone’s thoughts about the genders!
I jumped in to lead everyone through opening their boxes; we opened each enveloped together which was really fun and exciting!

And, the envelopes held the genders of each baby…
photo.PNG-2
YAY!
TWO GIRLS!!!
Although, I was hoping for a combo pack…. a girl and a boy…. I am so grateful and thankful to prepare for two girls!!

Once we came home, although completely exhausted, utterly/uncomfortably full, I took our weekly photos and got to relish opening a box and enjoying the envelopes myself!
gr4gr5gr6gr9

 We’ve had a long and tiring yet beautiful and eventful day.
Next up…. the baby shower!

Time is winding down and I’m sure the day we are to meet our girls will be here before we know it!!!
gr10

And, for all of you who have been rooting for us, journeying with us, praying for us, and encouraging us for any length of time:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You have no idea what your support means to us, what your emails, comments, texts, and messages touch us.. touch me.
I am so grateful for you and your excitement, love, and joy for our daughters and this new chapter in our lives is nothing short of breathtaking and surreal.
Thank you.

Signature

… mommy-isms

20140422-153053.jpg

I have been laughing at myself all week and nodding in understanding at all of #teammommy quotes I’d heard over the years but was truly ignorant to or just plain didn’t understand the extent of the experiences.

So, y‘all try not to judge me or roll your eyes too hard as you read through this list of mommy-isms – I promise you the thoughts I had prior to having Baby Drew home were due to inexperience….. and, not being a part of #teammommy. I’m wondering if I’m the only one whose experienced mommy-shock like I have!

#teammommy
Mommy-isms

1.  I have no idea what I’d be doing if I didn’t have (insert baby’s name)
First of all, I had no idea what this meant because OF COURSE you know what you’d be doing…. the same things you were doing before they got there.
But, what I realized is that mommies weren’t talking about activities or their tangible schedule. But, the purpose behind their days. I’ve thought this many times before…. although I enjoyed teaching and truly miss being at the school, so much of the day to day just doesn’t matter anymore. I recognize the opportunities and friend circles, the deeper connections you have with other women because of this new little person who has completely turned your life upside down. And, it’s beautiful.

2. I don’t shop for myself anymore.
Okay….. I have randomly not been shopping (for myself) in literally months. Even before I began shopping for Drew or even Holland and Carrington. I just haven’t been into it. Still, didn’t think that when I was in the mood to shop again that I’d ever, ever not want to.
But,after experiencing the Galleria in an effort to shop for the both of us at the same time (with my mom & sister), I know that we both can’t shop on the same day, and definitely not as a duo. It’s easier to pick up a few things for her and move on. Between searching for something you  want, finding a fitting room, and attempting to try on ONE dress while keeping a mover from crawling under to the next fitting room (true story) is much more of a task that I truly want to deal with. So, that leaves me to shop when I’m on my own … let’s all laugh out loud at that thought. 🙂

 

20140422-153141.jpg

3. Eating cold food… happily.
So, about this……… My pre-mommy thought was “Why can’t everyone eat together?” That’s a sweet idea and sounds so perfectly doable, but for some reason it’s just doesn’t seem to work out that way every meal. And, by every meal I pretty much almost mean ever. You’re feeding someone, or putting them to sleep, watching them play, playing with them, just watching them enjoy life. When you do eat, that cold, luke warm food is heaven…. you’re too tired to warm it again and know that if you don’t eat it NOW, you prob won’t have a chance for a while so you eat up.
We also won’t discuss never eating any meal on your own without having to share it. And, when mean share I mean only getting  a bite or two before pretty much handing it over to a little person who just finished their (hot) meal.

4. “mommy-tired”
The nap while the kid is napping idea just wasn’t an option for me, because I have my to do list with things to cross off and a house to keep. I mean, I’m busy.  That went out of the window on day 2 & I laughed at myself. Now, I try to nap at least a portion of Baby Drew’s mid-day nap. This way, I’m getting some rest, we’re bonding (she sleeps next to me or on my chest), and I’m still able to get somethings done while she sleeps. What I do try to do is schedule at least ONE room action I want to accomplish everyday. Whether it be dusting in the living room or vacuuming a certain bedroom, I try to get that done during at least one nap. Sometimes, each room action has to be broken down throughout the day, but I definitely try to get something done everyday. When I do, I feel like a complete rockstar, because honestly, it just doesn’t always get done.
The first week home with Drew was only difficult in that I had to learn to operate on a new level of tired. I had no idea what mommies meant when they said they were tired. Learning to keep going and get up when I can barely keep my eyes open has been a task but so rewarding as well. I love to drag myself out of bed or snuggle her when we’re winding down at the end of the night even when all I truly want to do is face plant on the nearest flat surface.

5. “OH MY GOSH…. today (insert baby’s name) did (insert new ability)!!!!!”
So, when out with mommy friends or talking to my sister, it was cute to hear the new things Baby was doing for a little bit…… But, to drown every convo with “Guess what Baby did today” would get pretty old, pretty fast. But, when it is your baby imitating you or doing something you taught them to do – it is the best thing in the entire world….. and, I want to tell everyone who asks me anything about her. Doesn’t matter. “Does she have teeth?” My response “Yes! She has four, two at the top, two at the bottom…. Then that would of course segue into how I tried Orajel and she drooled so much while she was sleeping to how she will now lay down (ON HER OWN!!! HELLO!!!!) when she’s getting sleepy to how her sleep schedule is changing.” I mean, it’s all related. Same topic, right? lol.  (Sidebar – while were resting for nap, I was zerberted by the cutest little kiddo ever!! I laughed hysterically and caused her to jump… Sooooooo, stinkin cute! We just zerberted each other back and forth for bit! loved it!)

 

20140422-153224.jpg

6. “I haven’t showered in days and I’m wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.
This I could not get with completely did not get and thought I would never not shower. My plan, which I began to practice during the weekends with our kiddo, was to shower in the morning before Thomas left for church or attempting to shower at night through exhaustion. Or, during a nap time. Insert mommy-tired and all you really wanna do during nap is nap or unwind, and in the mornings have that early morning play with the baby so I get it now. But, still… not showering isn’t an option. I must shower. I am a huge fan of self-care and my showers aren’t one of things I am willing to give up. My hair is currently all over my head and I’m wearing pajama bottoms, a t-shirt, and no bra but I PROMPTLY hopped of the phone with my sister during D’s nap with a “Oh! I can shower while Drew naps!” She says… “ok….” then burst out laughing. She gets it. She’s a mama. And, finally I do, too! And, I won’t mention how that shower was interrupted midway with “I’m awake now” baby cries, but that’s not important!

I’m sure I haven’t even begun to hit the tip of the iceberg when it comes to recounting situations, phrases, and actions that I never, ever thought I would say, do, or experience. But, I’m enjoying every single second of every day with this little girl. Even when she fights her sleep and is crying and refusing to allow her eyes to close all the way for any longer than a one point five seconds, it’s truly a joy. I adore her and am so thankful for every moment we have with her. I love seeing her explore our home more and more even though it’s causing me to rearrange a few tables and continue to put things back….. I know being mommy-tired and eating cold food when you haven’t showered is something that many women are desperate to experience. I am so thankful for her. So grateful for each and every snuggle and piece of pasta tossed over her high chair.

This mama life is amazing and I will forever praise God for her. And, never take these moments for granted.

I’m curious about your experiences and if you were every in mommy-shock when you realized what you thought mommy hood would be and what it actually is didn’t quite match up! At what point did you put your foot in your mouth?!

… here’s to each and every joy filled moment in every one of our messy, exhausted days!

Signature