… confidence in Christ

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God hears me.
Sometimes that’s all I need to hear.

Just those three words alone can comfort and calm. Our God doesn’t just hear us crying out to Him, pleading for our desires and turns His back to us.

We are His children. He clothes us more beautifully than the lilies in the field, he says that evil people give good gifts to their children so how much more would He give to His own.

As long as we are asking for things that are in His will – things that are of good report, noble, right, pure, and true (more in Phillpians 4:8), these things He wants us to think on…. And, certainly pray for and about- He will give them to us. IF we pray with pure motives. When we truly want our end to glorify and magnify our Father.

He will give it to you.

Go to Him with a clean heart, asking for forgiveness and forgiving others you have issues with…. And, He will meet you at the throne of grace. Ready to listen.

Today, I’m challenged and encouraged to think on Philpians 4:8 and pray for God’s will to be done.

When we have our minds focused on GOOD – our behavior & actions follow suit.

God, thank you for your promises and the grace you give us daily to walk with You & become more like You. Thank you for allowing us to come to you in prayer about anything knowing you will bless us, give, & provide us with whatever it is we ask for. Today, I ask that your joy overwhelm and your love shine from within us. Let us remember to focus and think on all things good. Let us go about our day with courage and boldness, honoring your, & making wise decisions in faith.
In Your name,
Amen.

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… join the movement and let your voice be heard

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This has been an amazing week of support and banning together for many women in our communities who struggle with infertility across the country.

And, I am glad to be apart!

I believe and will forever stand on the fact that infertility has made me who I am. I am not ashamed of my diagnosis. I’m grateful for the opportunity to publicly share my experiences and what I’ve learned through this chapter in my life with other women who walking the same path as I am. It’s given me a confidence in who I am and how I was created, as well as the realization that there is power in my voice. In my words. And, how I choose to use my words and voice to encourage and support others.

My husband and I were told that there could be issues with our fertility as newlyweds as we were talking to our doctor and planning to expand our family the next year. We didn’t think much of it for another 8 months or so. When we felt it was time to move forward with baby planning, we followed the advice of a friend and began working with an endocrinologist in the spring of the next year. My doctor’s concerns were confirmed and I was crushed.

At that point, I began blogging. I wanted to document our journey through infertility for myself. I took a deep breath, launched my blog, and posted my “coming out” on Facebook. For the next months, I poured my heart out on the pages of this blog … telling each step of our fertility treatments, how I felt in each stage, and where my heart was. There were some pretty dark and detailed moments written on those pages and at times I thought that I was stuck in one place. I thought that we would always dance in the same circle. Same motions. Same song.

The more I wrote, the more support poured in. Women I knew and didn’t know, alike, would email and comment telling me of their difficulties and struggles. Women I went to high school and college with who struggled with infertility and the possibility of never being able to conceive children due to other medical situations they endured. The stories I’ve heard are heart wrenching. I realized that there are so many women who are struggling with such pain privately and alone. I realized how taboo it was. How socially unacceptable it is. I understood why no one talks about infertility. Why no one discusses how it affects you over lunch. I understand the pain of wincing and coiling at comments, the awkwardness of dodging questions, and heaviness of bearing your roughest days alone.

Now that my husband and I have chosen to adopt, we’ve taken on another socially “strange” journey! There aren’t many people we know who have chosen to adopt children in order to expand their families, so we have an amazing opportunity to expand the thoughts and preconceptions many have about adoption, those who adopt, and the adopted. It’s exciting and I’m enjoying the process, the amazing families I’m meeting, and hearing all these stories.

{{ I adore the communities we’re apart of and bask in the strength of these families and women. }}

I’ve learned that discussing adoption (and, infertility) can be quite difficult but I take on the task of informing with a protective, yet patient and understanding tone because I understand the real ignorance (by definition) that leads to bias and offensive questions. I know that many people aren’t exposed to adoption and aren’t open to it, therefore they have questions, comments, and notions that are misguided and very random at times. lol. I don’t believe anyone means harm …. the majority  of people just don’t know. They don’t know what’s appropriate or inappropriate, they don’t understand the mental and emotional anguish that you endure through this process. They don’t know how hurtful their questions and comments can be.

…. All because they are unaware.

Remaining silent is not an option for me. I know that the more I speak out, kindly educate those who unintentionally offend, and just live my life without allowing my diagnosis to define me, the easier it will be for other women to confidently stand alongside me. Battling with me. Struggling, laughing, crying, celebrating, and rejoicing with me as we travel this road together.

I realize that not everyone is driven to write and bear their life and soul in such a public way. I also know that there isn’t just one way to go about educating our families, coworkers, and communties about infertility, treatments, and adoption. For that, I am grateful. I am glad to be apart of such a large community of women who believe that it’s worthwhile to discuss our issues, support each other, and educate the public on issues that will at some point affect someone they know.

I am even more grateful for the friends, family, and the friends that became family who show their unwavering love and support throughout such difficult times. It makes the successes and celebratory moments that much sweeter.

Ah! So I encourage you to join the movement. Educate yourself so that you can be a benefit to others. Use your voice to advocate, support, and encourage those around you.

We need you.

… here’s to dancing in thedownpour and loving every minute of it! There is good in everything… if we are open enough to receive it.

//click these links to learn more about infertility and National Infertility Awareness Week!!! //
***** http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  *****
***** http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html *****

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… it’s coming

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I literally blinked and I’m turning 30.

THIRTY
.

I can’t even BEGIN to understand how I’m about to enter a whole new decade of my life. I didn’t think I’d “freak out” (I actually like getting older) but 30 {THIRTY} is HUGE!! I knew it was coming but it’s actually happening in a few days.
And, I cannot believe it’s here already.

I don’t actually turn until the 12th but I doubt I’ll have the time blog about my “shift” into what feels like legitimate adulthood on that particular day.

The shift into legitimate adulthood……… Maybe the fact that I’m “small” and look quite young is the cause of the slight annoyance when asked my age by older people but….. when I can answer the question of “How old are you?” with a bold, confident “Thirty.”I feel like it carries a lot more weight than professing that your age still begins with a two. It makes a difference – I think. I don’t think I’ll be given that almost snooty you’re-just-a-baby snub of an attitude that is so often thrown my way. I’m kinda proud of that. (This is given I am acting my age… right?! lol)

My birthday this year just feels different. It feels like my life… our lives… are changing so drastically and so incredibly quickly. When it’s just the two of you… nothing really matters. You can come and go as you want… buy what you want… do what you want and it really doesn’t affect much at all. Time almost isn’t a big deal. We have thoroughly been enjoying the freedom of D.I.N.K (Dual Income, No Kids) style living for almost three years (on the 17th!!!!). We’ve had a great time together, we’ve learned so much about life, each other, and our roles in each other’s lives.

And, I’m grateful that it panned out this way. We enjoyed about half of our twenties together and it’s as if we’re moving into a new chapter of our lives in a major way! The best part is that we’re ready. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. God’s plan is perfect.

So, I find it enjoyable and ironic that in the year I feel as if I become a legit adult, is the year we will inherit so much more responsibility. And, we already feel it and are really taking efforts to ensure that we’re very thoughtful about how we want the rest of our lives to “look” in all of it’s different aspects.

I’ve learned an incredible amount in the past ten years… especially in the past five or so and I’m so grateful for everything that I have experienced, endured, and enjoyed! Life lessons definitely cause you to grow.

I’m looking forward to posting a few things I’ve learned in all of my 30 years and a few things that I have sparked my interest and challenged me to try from a few new found blogger friends (who are also apart of, what I will call, the Adoptive Parent Coalition! lol).

This year will be great. I’m so incredibly excited, mainly humbled, and definitely determined.
If one thing I have learned for certain, it is that There is a God.

Over the past five years, I have grown an incredible amount in my walk with Christ. I believe that it was in my 28th & 29th years that I really feel as if I’d taken leaps and bounds in growth and knowledge of who God is and made a real effort to trust Him for any and all changes that needed (and, still need) to be made.

These years have been an experience but they have absolutely been apart of the molding process and have prepped me to be and do everything that this year has for me. This is the year I will live out loud for Him. I’ve never done that before. I’ve never done the things I’ve been challenged to do before. But, this year. I will.

I’m turning 30, y’all. 🙂

Shine & pursue.

… here’s to aging gracefully. living graciously. and, loving intentionally. (more on all of that later!)

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