surprise, surprise!

I am at a complete loss for words right now. Tears are flowing and my heart is so very full.

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WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY.

So, I’m going to break this news up into a couple, maybe three, posts. There just seems to be so much going on and so much that I want to say, there’s so much to process. And, all of it won’t fit cohesively into one post!

When I began this blog three years ago this past May, I said that I would be so open and transparent in sharing the good, bad, and ugly of our journey. During the fertility treatments, I knew that if they went well, there is no way I would hold the news for 12 weeks, through the first trimester. I knew that I would keep the blog as current as I could. I held very little back during the adoption processes, withholding what I did out of my desire respect our birth family…. this has been a very open space. My space. The place I came to deal with a lot of what I was going through, to connect with other women who were experiencing the same things I’d had, to let others know that they aren’t alone in what they were feeling and going through.

And, I want to hold true to that.
Yes, I am fully aware how early we are in our pregnancy. Yes, I understand how things can go very wrong at any moment (um, hello… have you read my blog? lol). I understand exactly what I’m doing. And, I know that as excited as many of you are, some of you may be a little fearful or concerned. Take those fears and concerns to the cross and kneel right beside me. We’re in the same boat, sister (or brother)! Nothing has ever felt more real or scary. Nothing has felt more important.

So…. OMG!!! lol.
This is happening.

We are literally smack dab in the middle of the first trimester – 6 weeks tomorrow. I’ve known for about  a week and a half that this little bun has been tagging along with me but it feels much longer than that.

But, I am grateful. Scared, but so thankful. Shocked and humbled at God choosing to give us the desires of our hearts in the way that He has. At the time that he has. It’s unreal to have lived all of this and to KNOW that God had this in his plan the whole time.

To literally see how God keep his promises.
To see how He provides for his children.
To see how He takes what’s done to harm you & work things out for your good.
To see how all things work together.
To see how He gives you a crown of beauty for your ashes.
To see how He lifts up your head.
To know that He hasn’t forgotten about you.
To know that His timing is truly perfect.

It truly doesn’t seem real. It’s still a dream.
I can’t wait to see our little bun, our blessing.
He gave us a sweet little life.
The greatest surprise of all.

We are having a baby!!!! 

And, yes, while we are excited and adjusting to the newness and life changes that comes with having a little in-house partner in crime, we are praying/expecting/believing all things to go well- that I will carry our little bun full term and that we will both cross that 40 week finish line healthy and extremely happy! We hope that you’ll pray for those things, as well!<

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