worth the wait

One thing I look forward to everyday is opening my Facebook app and seeing a memory from years and years ago. There has been so much LIFE CHANGE that’s happened over the past FIVE years and each of the memories from the girls, Plexus events, or even photos of myself that make me so dang on proud.

We’ve been through a lot.

A couple of days ago, May 31, a memory popped up from 2016 that reminded me that five years prior I had my first fertility treatment. whoa. I remember that summer being emotionally difficult. Physically uncomfortable. Mentally draining.

Ironically, May of 2014 (3 years later), I found out I was pregnant. On my own. Post multiple failed fertility treatments and failed adoptions. Post my brokenness. Post my faith kept in the fire. Post battling darkness, disappointment, hopelessness. and, eventually choosing to give up. A couple of weeks after I resigned, my cycle was about 3-4 days late before I decided to take a pregnancy test that showed me two pink lines confirming that I was indeed pregnant.

Two life changing events that began in May. Not sure whether to run with that or just raise a brow. At minimum, it’s neat.

Here I am, eight years later the mama of three surprise babies from two unexpected pregnancies. A testament of the fact that even though my body said one thing, the Creator of all (including my malfunctioning body) moves in his ways on his timing.

His timing is perfect.
And, scary.
Uncomfortable.
A bit annoying.
And, feels very much like “last minute”.

During our infertility and adoption season, I designed and sold t-shirts and wrist bands that affirmed that our baby, our expanded family was “worth the wait“. That his timing, his plan, his glory, and our story would be worth all of the time and everything that happened between the start and a baby in our arms would be worth that child, the blessing, and the Lord’s glory.

I think back and laugh because we had NO IDEA what we would walk through by the time the babies that grew in my belly made it to our arms. None.

But, what I gained in the span of those years pre-pregnancy prepared me for what I would walk through during my pregnancy. I was insanely immature. I felt ill equipped. It felt like the same hell, but hotter.

but, still. The foundational belief was essentially that the Lord would work everything out for our good and he would get the glory in what happened in our lives.

and, he has. 

He makes all things beautiful in their own time.
He is a God of restoration and redemption.
He is a God that delights in showing us mercy.
He is a God that stores good things up for us.
He is a God who heals, brings back to life, and renews.
He is a God that is faithful, committed, patient with us.

He never fails.
He never quits.
He never gets tired.
He never stops pursuing.
He never stops forgiving.
He never stops maturing us.
He never stops drawing us to him.

Always welcomes us with open arms.
Always hears us.
Always sees us.
Always responds to us.
Always provides.
Always comforts.
Always strengthens.
Always gives us peace.
Always watches over us.
Always prepares a way for us.

He gives us beauty for ashes. Fact.
What we endure will not compare to what is waiting for us in glory. Fact.
What we endure & enjoy works together for our good. Fact.
He is always with us. Fact.

All of that is certain and so true. We can depend on it.
We can enjoy each day with peace standing on those promises
because it is written and that never changes.

But what isn’t certain is HOW we go through our circumstances and who we become as we go through them. We can fall away from Christ and choose to throw our hands up at him and all he’s doing. We can find illegitimate ways to satisfy legitimate needs and desires. We can become hopeless, develop a scarcity mindset, and lose sight of what we believe the Lord has for us and will do for us. We can allow our hearts to harden, we can become people we don’t even like when we look in the mirror.

Or, as painful as it can be, lean into the Lord and draw near to Him. Yes, the one we know can  change our circumstances just by making a mental choice and breathing. The one we feel is the source of our pain and not our comfort. The one we know can heal our bleeding hearts and restore brokenness. That one. We can trust Him. Because what we has waiting for us, is for us. We can trust Him because like a good father, he loves us too much to gives us something that isn’t ready yet or that we aren’t ready for. He loves us too much to spoil the surprise and give it to us too early. Loves others that we’re connected to and that our blessing is connected to (whether we know it or not) to act before it’s the perfect time for everyone involved.

We can trust what he’s doing. He’s reliable. He won’t let us down. He even fixes our messes and works the consequences of our sins into the “good” that will soon be ours. He loves us that much. Nothing is wasted. Nothing has to be wasted, rather.

One thing I learned to do is look for the good and spend daily time with the Lord. Those things plus developing my prayer life has been incredible. What I see the Lord doing is amazing.

I’m not going to go into the “I’m not perfect” because by now if you’re thinking or expecting anyone (including yourself) to be perfect, ….. it’s a waste.

Whatever you’re believing God for.
Whatever you’re praying for.
Whatever you’re too afraid to even ask God for, to even mention it to him.

IS WORTH THE WAIT.
WORTH YOUR TIME SPENT IN PRAYER.
WORTH YOUR TIME DEVELOPING YOURSELF.
WORTH YOUR TIME PREPARING.
WORTH YOUR TIME DREAMING.
WORTH YOUR TIME LEARNING.
WORTH YOUR TIME UNROOTING TOXICITY.
WORTH YOUR TIME LEARNING NEW HABITS.
WORTH YOUR TIME BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES.
WORTH YOUR TIME DEVELOPING A STRONG MINDSET.
WORTH YOUR TIME DEVELOPING YOUR FAITH.
WORTH YOUR TIME IN PURSUIT.
WORTH YOUR TIME SACRIFICING FOR.
WORTH YOUR TIME TAKING STEPS EVERY SINGLE DAY TO ONE DAY HAVE.
WORTH EVERY SINGLE TEAR.
EVERY SINGLE PRAYER.
EVERY SINGLE HOPE.
EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IMAGINING HOW FLIPPING
AMAZING IT IS GOING TO BE.

YOU ARE WORTH IT.


Moreover, let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings,
know that pressure an affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.
Roman 5:3

 

 

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joy and hope

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

In real life, when we are barely making it through the day without bawling our eyes out in the car or spending our days in zombie mode, it’s difficult to believe that God can fill us with joy and hope. And, when I say fill, I mean it in the truest sense of the word. Like, fill my wine glass to the brim because that’s the kind of day I had kinda fill. You know? Not the give my two year old a cup of water kind of fill that’s barely half full. Full like there is no room for a drop more or my cup will overfloweth kind of full.

But, when we step out of ourselves and look at the larger picture of what’s going on, we will see that God doesn’t find joy in our difficulties…. just as I don’t find joy in my girls’ frustration and hurt….. but, I know that there are times the hard times are necessary to learn something new and necessary for the next phase in life.

What’s the bigger picture? Why do we go through all of this?
plain and simple…. so that we will live a life as a person whose behavior honors and glorifies God.
That’s they why behind all of this……

“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

When we’re going through the hardest of times, we have to remember that 1. God is our safe place. He is the source of sanity, joy, peace, strength, hope, love, and forgiveness and 2. when we go to God and depend on him in faith for all of those things we are able to live peaceably with all people in all circumstances.  And what will that do a few things….. deepen your relationship with Christ, calm your situation OR allow you to operate well in the situation, and cause others to wonder how it is you haven’t lost your mind. All of which give you the opportunity to share Christ.

Our world, our lives aren’t about us. That’s a difficult concept to grasp in the culture we live in today that encourages self-absorption, chasing your desires, and filling your life with stuff. But, those things aren’t God’s desire for us. He’d rather us be joyful than happy, searching for peace, our identity, fulfillment in Him rather than in people or material things or other people. He wants us to trust him in faith rather than what we think or feel. I don’t think he doesn’t know how difficult it is. I believe that because He knows how difficult it is, He sent his son as the perfect example of peace, endurance, patience, and perseverance…. until death. He sent the Holy Spirit to live inside of each and every one of us to guide us, pray for us, and comfort us. He gave us the Body to encourage and support us. He gave us something to look forward to –  joy and a life with Him. psalm29-11 my very beautiful friend featured in a Proverbs 31 Ministries pic.

We have a Savior we can safely put our trust.

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spurgeon goodness

IMG_5738.PNG“…. the promise of the new covenant is affliction….
If you hear fruit, you will have to endure affliction….
But, this affliction works out precious results.”
– Spurgeon, Morning & Evening

Thank God for his faithfulness and for being a constant source of strength and patience. For being a promise keeper and a life giver. A redeemer and friend. Comfort and peace. Mercy, hope, and grace.

Amen.

{sidebar: I love these babies every crinkle, roll, snore, and toot. I mean, just look at those chapped lips. How could you not obsess over them! Lol}

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