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a little reminder for myself

There have been times I’ve stumbled across my own writing or heard a piece of a podcast playback I was a guest on that encourages me. I have literally been encouraged by myself.

Rarely ever do I go back and intentionally re-read things I’ve written or listen to my own podcast episodes, but I wanted to intentionally leave here what I was led to write this morning… I quickly typed it out in the Notes app in my phone, but wanted to post it here so that it’s documented and I can go back to it.

So………. if you need a little encouragement, KEEP READING!!
This is for us.

Nothing will make me cut my eyes faster and hold onto what my girls are waiting for more than a tantrum when I ask them to wait. It is literally the most irritating sight & sound because they’re acting as if I said “No.” As if they aren’t ever going to get it when I’ve literally just said “Wait.”

You know… the screaming “mommy I want _____” and the jumping up and down, what I can only describe as standing + shaking their body, whining, and crying. Literal nails on a chalkboard for me. Or them telling me I’m taking too long. Say WHAT?! I will straight up walk away. And, they’re left throwing a fit that is prolonging them getting what they want.

And while to me, in the physical… while I’m holding material, tangible items watching little people I helped to create are WATCHING ME WORK to get them what they want seems absolutely ABSURD, I know the Lord is likely looking at me with the same words coming out of his mouth. “I am literally working on this right now. Dont you see me ______? So whyyyyyy are you crying?” Or just “I will give it you. Just wait a minute.” or “Why don’t you _____ while I do this??”

The reaction can be annoying, but the truth is: waiting is hard. Asking for what you want and unsure if the answer will be a yes or a no is hard. Desiring something your heart longs for or literally needing something and going day after day not SEEING any movement is hard. It’s scary. A hopeful spirit can become doubtful and weary as time passes.

I believe God knows that. Just like I know it’s hard for my girls to want something and not get it. Just as it’s hard for me to deal with the disappointment and adjustments, the heart healing, and mental/emotional shifts that come with a “no” for me.

I don’t believe we tantrum or struggle with waiting because we don’t believe God is capable or that he doesn’t hear us. I believe the struggle comes with not knowing what we will do if the answer is “No.” It’s a literal faith issue that God will carry us, take care of us, provide for us, & truly give us what is BEST when we can’t see past our own solution.

We want THIS because we, in our mortal minds, believe THIS is the answer that is best for us. THIS job. THIS school. THIS method of medical intervention. THIS man. THIS woman. THIS income level. THIS achievement. THIS. THIS. THIS is what I’ve decided I need and THIS is what I want. Lord, give me THIS.

When God may be saying, “No. THAT is truly what is for your good & my glory.” and “I know you want this, but here is THAT right now” and “THAT is what you need… in a bit.” Or “YES! THIS is for you…… just not right now.” Or “YES! THIS. RIGHT NOW. TODAY. BAM!”

I’ve learned that there are truly levels to trusting God & believing him to be who he says he is and will do what he promised at the right time in ALL circumstances.

You don’t ever know how much ALL is. What it includes. But we know “ALL” is usually a lot. More than a couple. More than a few. It’s a lot. Plenty. Sometimes more than you can carry alone. More than a one trip to the car for ALL the groceries. But we know that he said he would be there, that he would never forsake us. That his grace is sufficient. That he would provide ALL our needs.

Waiting is hard.

But I’d suggest, instead of focusing so much on THIS, THAT, or the OTHER………. focus on God. Watch for his hand, listen for his voice, pay attention to his movement. Wait to see how he unfolds situations, wait to hear what he tells you do, wait to see how he moves things around to work in your favor.

Focus on Him and wait.

Psalm 27: 13
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I will see the
goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes,wait for the Lord.

Psalm 46:1-3 & 10
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.
So we will not fear wen earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.
Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!
vs. 10
Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

There isn’t a time the Lord has left anything incomplete or undone. Even when he was healing the blind man in Bethsaida, he touched him twice. After the first time the man said he could see but the people “….. looked like trees walking around”. He touched him again and his sight was completely restored and he saw clearly. (Mark 8:22-25)

We can trust him.

To do what we ask him to do.

To answer our needs & wants with what is best for us.

At the right time.

Without anything lacking.

Chin up, buttercup.
The battle is not ours, it’s the Lord. We literally do not have to worry about the who, when, where, or how in ANY circumstance. Any meaning – pick one or two or ALL out of the bucket….. NOT ONE OF THEM are for us to figure out, to go through alone, or to worry about winning. We win every time.


Have a thought to share? I'd love to hear it!