so precious

Hey y’all!!

The concept of worthiness and value has been one lesson that has needed to be learned but one that I could never seem to grasp- until now. I wanted to share my thoughts with you about how I came to finally get it and the impact this has made on my relationships and how I mother my girls. Hope you enjoy it and glean something good from it!

When I look at my daughters, so many words come to mind that describe them. They are all very caring, strong willed, and love to have fun. (The makings of great leaders!) I can go on for days describing their character and personalities; I love them so much and want them to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, celebrated, and capable of doing anything they want to!

But, most of all, I want them to know that they are precious. Literally meaning that they have great value and aren’t to be wasted or treated carelessly. They must know that they have value and therefore are valuable. Not only because they are a person, but specifically, a child of God.

You guys have been around a really long time; so many of you have been right along side of me during my years of infertility, fertility treatments, adoption, marriage ups and downs, divorce, and now single parenthood. Woven through each of those seasons of life has been leaps and bounds of personal growth and major spiritual maturation….. you’ve also seen how over the last few years I’ve built a business that has sustained us financially and on the surface is about supplements to address physical and emotional health issues so that we are healthy head to toe. It does that.

But, equally important, building a business in the way that I am, has required me to grow and develop a skill set, discipline, and a mindset that I didn’t have before.

Through the leadership development and the personal growth I’ve experienced, I finally grasped a concept and truth that I didn’t have.

I am valuable. Precious. Worthy.

Honestly and to many GOOD relationships gone awfully bad and AWFUL relationships held onto for dear life (bc I’m no quitter! Lol); heartache, books read and deep chats with friends, and a few years of weekly counseling sessions later, I have learned that I am, by their very definitions, worthy, valuable, and precious.

To God, first.

To myself, second.

Understanding who I am in Christ, I can readily see & stand in my value and worth……. then, walk, live, speak, and engage with the world around me with a solid foundational knowledge of who I am and why.

The personal growth I’ve experienced over the last few years is invaluable to me because now I have even more to pass down to my own daughters. One of my prayers when I first found out I was expecting was that my children would see in me a woman who could add value and contribute to their life in many ways. And, I’ll add to that….. the wisdom and information I would share would be spoken out of a place of confidence, healing, bravery, vulnerability, & maturity versus fear, insecurity, scarcity, or inadequacy.

Learning this lesson at 36 means that I, sadly, wasn’t taught my value.

There was no positive self image or deeply rooted belief that I was “somebody” instilled in me as a little girl.

I had NO CLUE that I deserved the good things my heart desired, no clue that I could achieve (or even set) big goals. No idea that I could not only experience a love or deep care/concern that would lead me to be prioritized, protected, & sacrificed for….. but that I had those things to give to others. That “AHA!” moment alone has made me a better mama & leader. I have something of value to share with others that they not only need, but want!

I saw others received those things and I always wondered, “What do I need to do in order to get that?” Love, acceptance,a feeling of belonging and being wanted was something I craved but I never felt I had it or could have, but when it was offered to me……. I had no idea what to do with it.

The answer I learned is that in order to be valued, there was nothing to do but recognize that I am valuable period. Without achievements, beauty, a specific skill set, or creativity level. I am because that’s how I was created. Praise. The. Lord. But I struggled with that truth; it hardly makes sense to me and let me explain why.

Have you heard of the Enneagram? It’s a very OLD and ancient personality profile that is very popular right now and I’m completely obsessed with it. I’ve read one book (suggested by my friend in my company), and am in the process of reading another (and stalking enneagram focused Insta profiles) because I am completely obsessed with how accurate these 9 profiles are and how I can see so many people in them. I am an Enneagram 3, to my core. (I’ve linked the books I’ve read if you’re curious! …. you’ve got to check this out.

And, as an 3, we hustle. I am a hustler. I would literally work myself to the bone to earn the acceptance of love for others. As a three, we feel “okay” and safe, valuable by our successes, appearance, achievements, and others’ responses to us. Failure is not an option because if I fail (in any way) ……… what will you think of me? Yikes.

The truth?

I don’t have to preform well to experience acceptance, love, and trust. Achieving doesn’t make me valuable. Achievement is just one form of success. And, that’s fleeting. There’s always something else to earn, another goal to hit, and another something to shoot for …….. but really grasping that “I am who I am because of who created me therefore it is never changing because He never changes” has freed me from the hustle of perfection and the work to “earn” what I already have.

It, also, opens my eyes to those who do value me and those who don’t. My heart is guarded in a new way that allows me to “go where I’m loved”, where I’m valued and makes it so much easier to walk away from who doesn’t. Without excusing behavior or hustling.

What a world changing lesson.

No more hustling for worth.

No more working to earn (anything but more trips and incentives! Lol).

No more searching in others what I already have.

Now.

As a mama to three little girls, I have one of the most amazing gifts to pass onto them.

Value.

Self love.

Self respect.

Esteem.

And, worthiness.

All rooted in Christ Jesus for his glory.

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