…. 2nd half

I turned 36 yesterday.

Officially in the second half of my thirties and I’m committed to continuing to walk, crawl, claw, cry, & run in the complete opposite direction of the first half. Those years were awful. but, even in their awfulness they were purposeful………. and, I’m honestly hoping that their purpose was to set the foundation for the most productive & healthy rest of my life.

Because I seriously cannot, okay?

Generally I have these grand plans for my birthday…. lots of meals and drinks and gathering and socializing that really ends up depleting me and stressing me out. I opted out this year, and ended up feeling more seen, loved, supported, encouraged, & full than I have in a very, very long time. for that, I am thankful. And, I cried. Which I hardly ever do these days……. and that is a whole post & visit with the therapist within itself.

As providence would have it, my birthday landed on my company’s largest training day of the year. Dylan, my team, and I hopped on the road and spent a day and a half with a ton of other friends from our team. I literally spent my birthday with friends. who surprised me with a cake. bought me dinner & drinks. gifts. & Rosé. It was nice & I was (still am) so grateful.

Between my big girls singing me “Happy birthday Rhyann & Logan” & giving me their biggest hugs before they left on Friday.

And Baby Sister being the perfect bring along to a work event, I’m definitely winning in the kid department.

I’m satisfied with how my spiritual life is developing.

How eye am becoming more & more of who I want to be. Clawing some days, laughing some, inching others towards progress, but we are definitely moving in a direction that is exciting. Not always fun, but exciting.

I hope. I’m praying so. Faithfully believing and working like we’re headed somewhere beyond our requests and imaginations.

What has gone through my mind is how thoughtful the Lord is to give us another chance to experience goodness after traumas and pains. He is faithful see the plan of good + prosperity to the end. And, lovingly kind to lead us away from what is old & dead to what is full & new. I’m also pretty thankful for second chances and enough awareness to recognize change is necessary & enough sense to do something about it.

The 36th year may not end perfectly but I’m committing everyday to the Lord so I know without a shadow of a doubt it will be good.

the one thing I do plan on being is happy & accomplished.

And, I’m listening to Mercy on repeat. Do yourself a favor and listen intently to the lyrics. But, prepare your heart to be filled with hope & gratitude to overflowing first. I cried hot, flowing tears listening to it Friday. It’s a good one.

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