… the struggle is real

… real good.

If you know me, one of my favorite things is quotes! And, I heard one that resonates deeply with me and hit me pretty hard.

“We should concern ourselves not with pursuit of happiness but the happiness of pursuit.” Hector and the Search of Happiness.

For as long as I’m aware, I’ve always been very much a destination minded person. I focus on getting the result and being frustrated with the journey to that result. I wasn’t working for “the journey”, I was busting my butt for the result so that’s where I would focus my attention. That sounds great and logical until you realize you have to take the journey in order to get to the destination and how you journey dictates who you will be once you arrive which is, ultimately, much more important than the achievement.

When I was struggling with infertility, I just wanted the baby.

When my marriage was falling a part, I just wanted it fixed.

As I build this business, I just want to hit this income.

I wanted, worked for, cried for, broke down over, fell a part over, shook my fist at God over, secluded over, and lost myself over an outcome. Not wanting to endure the journey. Wanting to fast forward through the hard stuff to finally experience the joy, the beauty, the dancing, for all of the sorrow, morning, and ashes.

My mind was focused on what Alaina (& everybody else) was doing (or not doing), but not who Alaina was. I was focused on what God was doing (or not doing) instead of who he was. Because I wanted a certain outcome and the doing gets the job done…. all the other stuff was fluff. Because no one is perfect, anyway, right?

Or does it?

As far as I was concerned, the journey is great but we can get to all the learning after we hit this goal, right?? After we get the baby, after the marriage is restored, after we hit these ranks. We can enjoy the spoils as we do the same work we would have had to do while we fought for the spoils……. right? So silly.

But, what I missed is that who you become and what you learn as you walk, run, scratch, crawl etc to those goals, is what gets you to those goals. What keeps you there. What allows you to bring other people along & help them hit their goals with a wider perspective about the experience. (And, really…… what motivation would I have to work on the inner stuff if I’ve already got all the outer stuff I want?)Without a shadow of a doubt, that as much as I want what I want & need what I need right. now, I am able to happily pursue. Frustration, disappointment, and the tendency to beat myself up along the way have decreased dramatically. Instead I look for God in everything. I imagine how this waiting, failure, and missed mark is a part of the “all things” when God promises that “all things” work together for my good and his glory. I am able to see how things are lining up, improving, and coming together. I’m able to relax as God works instead of being wound up about what he is working on.

And, I’d rather the best version of myself and able to teach, impart wisdom, support, and be there with a healthy mindset and emotional/mental state.

Those things are more important than whether or not we reach a goal!!!

As we walk through a season of wait and journeying, we should definitely remember that focusing on the “who” & the process of becoming. Those things will help give perspective to our experiences as we work hard to hit those goals. At the end of the day, all of it is going to pass away and there will stories for generations told of what kind of person we were and who we were that last longer and will be more impactful than what we accomplished.

I’ve got major goals planned for 2019…… many of which hinge on the lessons I’ve learned and who I am and worked (am working) hard to become and I’m thankful for the journey. I enjoy the pursuit. And, look forward to enjoying the “spoils of war”.



  1. I really enjoyed this blog post. Enjoying the journey or trusting i the plot twists and turns is very important. The destination is the goal, but God’s will to get you there is far more important. Keep inspiring and teaching us as God wills his way through your life!

  2. Thank you, girl! No more hustling for outcomes! HOW we grow as we go is so much more important. Aw!! I will, girl. I will. Keep reading!!

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