… let it go

It’s so funny how ONE thought & decision has a such an impactful domino affect on your entire mindset. I say ‘funny’, but I know that it’s the Holy Spirit leading to where we are supposed to be and molding us into who we are meant to be. I believe that because every single one of these ideas are connected to something the Lord previously taught & is teaching me. They build upon each other & are affirmed by so many people in so many ways. And, I’m moving in a very non-Alaina way which further lets me know that this ain’t a flesh thing. There’s something much bigger unfolding.

Now, we know that I’ve very seriously committed to being intentional and unapologetic about everything in my life. Some ways are easier, some are a bit harder….. but at the end of the day, I know that if I want my life to look a certain way, it’s up to me to make better choices that will lead me to that place. Step 1: When your friends call you out on something…. listen. process. & deal with it.

We can’t become better without being willing to accept who we are (the “us” we don’t/can’t always see) and being willing to do the work to change what’s holding us back.

After a convo with a friend, she called me out on some stuff and I processed. We talked again. I processed some more. Repeated that a couple of times until I understood the why behind the what.

One of the realizations: I’m a hoarder…… It’s not so bad that the qualifications are met for the show, but enough for me to think about why I am keeping so many…… memories. I tend hold onto stuff for a narrowed down couple of reasons.

1. I have (& am working through) a scarcity mindset. Now, this stems from quiet a few places, but I’ve held onto clothes/shoes that I haven’t worn in years. Clothes/shoes that I will legit never wear. And, even forgot about. They’re useless…….. And, they’re just taking up space.

2. I felt that by holding onto stuff, it meant I deserved what I had, added to my value, or didn’t take the effort for granted. This goes for the girls’ school work to teacher gift packages/cards, old purses to shoes…. just stuff that really no longer held value to me, but I kept it because it meant I had value for even having it.

Ex: I have a little nook that had two years worth of the girls’s school work & daily notes daily y’all) from teacher. Which I first began stashing it, I planned it get one of those clear, plastic boxes with dividers to store work in……. I didn’t want forget anything. Eventually, y’all the amount of papers just piled up in that area was shameful. But, I couldn’t. After I kept asking myself ‘Why?’ after I hit a new revelation about why I keeping pictures of colored apples, numbers, and animals was because I felt that by holding onto this stuff, it proved that I was truly grateful for their lives. Yup.

So I got rid of it.

A ton of shoes, baaaaaags of clothes, the piled up school work, and the bouquets of dead flowers.

Yes. I went through a stint where I loved dried roses. But, they’re dead. So, I got rid of them, too.

More doesn’t mean better. Or fuller. Or worthy of anything.

Holding onto things just means there’s less physical space, mental, & emotion room for you to receive what you really want and could actually use.

I literally love the feeling of getting rid of things. I love the feeling of having more options because you’re able to see what you do have that you actually enjoy…… the space is less cluttered so your mind is also clear. It feels good to donate. To give things way. To let go of old things that were purposeless & taking up space. Along with a physical clean up, I’m also being very intentional about my emotional space + mindset. Clear boundaries, goals, desires & the undesirables are set in place. I’m leaving space for those things to continually develop & become more and more clear. Growing past old thoughts, habits, & mindsets and THAT feels good. It’s freeing. I refuse, refuse, refuse to allow dysfunction, hurts, thought patterns rooted in insecurities, fear, & limits guide my life. There’s just so much more available to us and we can’t access it stuck in hopelessness that’s masked in certainty.

I’m determined + committed to roll into 2019 already working toward what I made my mind up to accomplish.

Ready & making room for overflow and abundance.


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