..the best

We’re bumping right along, knocking on 3rd trimester’s door……….

Completely shocked. Unprepared. Confused. Startled.
Full of anticipation. Excited. Impatient.

I’m literally flooded with disbelief that in a few short months, there will be another little person in our world, in our home, & who we are completely taken by and wrapped around her tiny, little finger. Even if we aren’t ready for her! LOL! Not sure if this is a third child thing or vet mama move, but the poor child has nothing but a onesie + a pair of pants……. and, a sista ain’t worried! Lol. We have a pack and play + stroller, so aside from a couple other needs – there’s nothing to worry about, right?! I can’t believe the time has flown by so quickly. It almost feels unreal that “the time” has nearly snuck up on us the way it has.

Thankfully, I’m feeling so good and doing pretty well.

And, if you know me, you know what I’m attributing that to! Plant based supplements, y’all. Small differences a couple times a day that have kept me from swelling like I did during my first pregnancy… my blood pressure is perfect… I’ve only gained 12 lbs and my days aren’t colored with “pleasure” eating or cravings! I drink my water. Eat my fruit. Have 3 meals a day. I may have a cupcake or something sweet once a week. There have been times I was eating out multiple times a week due to poor meal planning or rushing in the morning, but overall….. we’re doing well! I’m not crunchy, don’t eat majority organic, or anything like that – I just understand that eating well, drinking water, and balancing my body is incredibly important and I prioritize it! …and, the baby is growing super well and is incredibly active!! … but, not gonna lie. Mama isn’t. We haven’t seen the inside of a gym since I was a couple months pregnant with the girls! Haven’t ran since…… they were one, maaaaybe two. But, no bets, k?! 

The girls are doing so very, very well! Growing so very fast… I’m definitely enjoying their vocab and personality burst! So much is seemingly coming out of nowhere and being able to watch it from the front row of their little lives is such a gift.

Their conversations are hilarious:
Lo: Wyann, come ‘ere…. Wyann… Whyann…
Rhyann: (with a sigh) Yes, YoYo……

There’s a lot of:
“Like this… like this, Wyann!!”
“oh! Did you hear dat?”
“I want yogurt!”
“I tickle you!!”
“Wyann… Wyann… where are you?”
“I want lisstick” (with a pucker)

Lots of singing. Lots of fighting. Lots of hugging and playing so very well together. Lots of bedtime struggles and dressing a still sleeping babe because they played and chatted way into the night…. or until Logan falls asleep!

Me: “Rhyann, why are you out of bed?”
Rhyann: “YoYo is seeping.”
Me: “Okay, but why aren’t you in your room??”
Rhy: (90% of the time a “look” and hands slapped on her thighs “YoYo seeping!!”
***Then she cimbs in my bed and knocks out 3 minutes later***

I still cannot believe I’m about to be a mama of three little girls. Sometimes that thought thrills me, other times it is pretty daunting. The realities + uncertainties of life can be hard…. even after struggling with termination and believing I made the right choice, I still wonder what the heck this life is going to look like….. While having no idea what I’d be doing right now if I wasn’t pregnant. lol. Would I be this motivated? Would I be this trusting of an unknown plan? Would the things that are happening for writing and  speaking opportunities be present?

Isn’t that funny.. that the very things you never thought you wanted could be the very things you need?
I can’t imagine.

but… but… but……. what I do know  and rest on is that God is so good. Good in a never makes a mistake, never stops loving us, never is impatient, never wants to throw in the towel kind of good. Nothing slips through the cracks, nothing is missed. Nothing. So, he can be trusted. And, because he can be fully and completely trusted, I don’t need to be afraid or worried. I just need to snuggle up really close to him, abide in him, and listen. Listen to his whispers, to the nudges I get, and obey. I’ve been really focused on doing what the Holy Spirit whispers for me to.. acting on those “ideas”, those urges, and the best things have come out of them. Whether it’s immediately saving time or being able to help someone – I see the goodness and benefit of following closely behind our God and doing my best to be flexible enough, teachable enough to become the woman he had in mind when he imagined and formed me in my mama’s belly.

Praise the Lord; Praise God our Savior!
For each day he carries us in his arms. 
Psalm 68:19 (NLT)

Praise the Lord; Praise God our savior!
who daily bears our burdens!
Psalm 68:19 (NIV)

***** I mean… they’re both good… how do you choose just one?! ****

Of course I goal to be the best mama to these girls that I could ever be. The best listener. The most patient. The most timely and organized. The best homemaker. The best cook and snack preparer. The best braider and outfit coordinator……..

But, I know I will [ahem, do] fail daily. I know that the “best” is only the one who operates in their strengths, respects their weaknesses, asks for forgiveness, snuggles well, gives full attention, shares lisstick, and kisses + hugs often.

The best I can be isn’t perfect…
It’s loving. kind. affirming. silly. patient.
It’s present.


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