mom so hard

Mamas, you know what stresses me out? Of all the things there are to stress you as a leader of tiny people who have depended on you for everything from their blood supply + good gut bacteria to wiping their little booties + feeding them to kissing boo boos + giving them their snack in the right color bowl …. omg…. the exhaustion of it all. Overwhelm comes just by THINKING of what needs to happen………… 

what’s worse is the pressure of being and looking perfect while you do it. While you mom. While you mom + work. and, wife. and, build a business, and, work a 40 hour a week (plus) job. and, clean, cook, try so hard to keep healthy food + snacks in the pantry & fridge. and, keep the mound of laundry at a socially acceptable height. keep everyone clean. be positive. Roll your eyes as you put the car in park & jump out to unbuckle your kids from their car seats & apologize to your kids because you forgot to brush their teeth- again. 

…. oh, and take care of yourself. And commit to NOT getting an Elf on the Shelf not because the kids “won’t get it” but because one more responsibility may just make you stare blankly at the wall for 3 more minutes than normal. 

and, yes…. I’m totally qualified to talk about the stress of feeling the pressure of perfection because I feel it, too. 

The mom-parisions are real, okay?! On both sides. 

Y’all. We are all incredible. It’s our kids who are nuts. Not us. Hear me – it’s not you. It’s the insanely adorable little people we live with who have made us manic. I saw a graphic the other day that said something along the lines of “all of us are a mess, some of us are better hiding it than others.” Then, ran across a C.S. Lewis quote that said “We need fewer Christians singing about Christianity and more Christians singing about everything else.” Whoa. Can we apply that to mom-ing?? 

You may think bc I have on make up and a decently put together outfit that I’m solid….. yea, no. My heels likely need a for real visit to the Shoe Hospital to be re-heeled (which is why I rotate the same few. #letsbereal) and my car looks like I don’t know what. The inside is just indescribably………….. awful. Anything you can think of is in their. Jackets. 3-4 pairs of shoes, lollipops stuck to the carpent, Cutie slices in between seats because the girls “no want it” anymore. Water bottles are everywhere. Wipes. Used, not packaged. You would think I was PigPen in real life. #shitsonottogether 

Since when does perfect and put together equal good. Why do we equate the two? When does it mean emotionally stable? Why are we so stinking impressed by it (aside from the fact that someone would actually choose less sleep to do “all of that”. It covers the crazy, okay?!) 
Hailing someone a super mom who wears an invisible cape and juggles career, relationship, motherhood, etc perfectly doesn’t mean ANYTHING unless they are loving people well, affirming, pouring into, + spending time their children, encouraging others, growing as a person, living with standards and morals…….. slip ups are real and life is hard, and it’s EASY to look at someone else who has it together from top to bottom and want to appear the same way and think her life has to be something special if she can consistently come out of the house looking like that with kids that look like that. Seriously. We all want to look nice- none of us want the snot clad tee, bags (under eye, not shopping), & junky car. 

This isn’t easy, but comparing ourselves to others isn’t going to (shouldn’t!!) make us feel any better or worse about our preferences, gifts, or circumstances. And, if you’re a single mama like me…… girl. It ain’t easy. But, we can do this. We are doing this. And, just doing it as we learn to enjoy our babies in every “age slot” they’re in makes it a lot easier. more enjoyable. They aren’t burdens and their presence is a gift, seeing them as such and recognizing that we have the ability, power, blessing, and responsibility to train them on how to behave, respond, treat others etc should motivate us to be more present, kind, patient, & enduring. Right? 

Super moms are the ones who give it everything they’ve got everyday. Make up or no make up. Heels or not. Designer this or that or not. It doesn’t matter. Who we are to our housemates, families, our coworkers, strangers, teams, etc is what matters. That’s what lasts. That’s what matters. It’s who we are growing to be, it’s being teachable, and kind, and becoming better for ourselves and those around us. 

Let’s start honoring that. The pretty hair & make up + put together is fantastic, but more incredible than that is who we are on the inside & who that causes us to be on the outside. 

Mom so hard, mama. Know that you’re valuable and worthy because of who created you and who loved you first rather than anything else. and, that I’m rooting for you!! 

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