National Infertility Week!

Today is the last day of #nationalinfertilityawarenessweek and I’ve been absolutely quiet. Life is amazing and busy and I hadn’t stopped long enough to write about this incredible diagnosis. Infertility is hard. It’s kind of a thief. It can easily steal dreams, destroy hope, paralyze happiness, and ruin marriages. It breaks your heart. It shakes your value and places doubt in your heart about who you are and where you fit. It’s lonely and it’s isolating. It’s the enemy to 1 in 8 families. It’s the line the separates us (the broken) from them (the mamas & daddies). It’s the darkness that covers you month after month & the siphon that drains your bank account from medications, procedures, dr appts, and hospital stays.
But, y’all. 

It’s the place I found Jesus. It’s the place I learned to feel and lean in. Where I had to be strong in spite of how very weak and fragile I was. It was where I learned to connect and build with women who were also hurting. Where online communities of women who struggled just got it, welcomed me, stood with me, and prayed for me. It was a hard place. May one day prove to be hard again, but if it weren’t for infertility I wouldn’t have experienced FOR MYSELF a mighty miracle from the Lord. One that I got to personally feel and live out versus watching another person enjoy. I KNOW that the Lord blesses abundantly.

I KNOW he gives us the desires of our hearts.

I KNOW that the Lord is a healer and a way maker. 

I KNOW that he sees me. That he holds me together, that he comforts me, hides and protects me. That he is a deliverer and healer. 

I know it’s not always easy hearing stories like this when you are in the valley. I know that one day it gives hope but on another (the day your cycle comes or you get a negative pregnancy test) that is angers and frustrates. But, know that the Lord’s plan and timing is best. That what he has for you will be specifically planned just for you. That he has a plan for your life full of good gifts. 

The wait is hard. But, wait well. Wait with anticipation, standing on your tip toes with your arms stretched out believing that you will see the goodness of the Lord & receive every good thing he has promised you. 

While you wait, lean into the Lord and pour yourself out for others. When you don’t feel like it. When you’re tired and angry. It seems impossible but you can and will keep going. YOU, who you were before all of the acronyms and dr appts and needle pricks, you’re still under there. Pieces of you have changed. 

You’ve become a bit different but you aren’t lost. You don’t have to lose yourself, your relationships, your marriage, joy, or peace. Be strong. Find a community, pour into & develop your passions. And, wait patiently on the Lord. He will renew your strength, wipe your tears, bottle up your tears, give you a safe place to hide, & love you to wholeness. 

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Comments

  1. Love this to infinity….

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