Hot mess express?

So, while I fiercely reject the term “hot mess” when it refers to mamas, I absolutely, wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. 

We are have gone, are going, or will go through something incredibly hard. 

While I’ve learned to find the good in every situation, doesn’t negate the fact that hard comes. And, sometimes stays awhile. For many reasons, I am not one who believes in not allowing anyone to see you cry or anything like that out of pride. Yes, keep it together when you have to, but when you don’t…….. Be. Be sad, cry, & feel. We aren’t machines or robots. We feel and I would personally prefer to feel than be hard. 

Been there, isn’t productive. It’s so much better to feel and get it over with rather than trying not to and dragging the process out. Plus, you’re a lot more “you”, ya know?

In so many ways the little life me and my babes are rocking out is perfect. I mean, these little people light up my entire world and I’m grateful to be the healthy mama I am for them. Then, there are days when single mamahood takes its toll and they’re in their room crying and I’m in mine crying. Because it’s exhausting and isolating in a lot of ways. You don’t realize how much your life is different than when you talk to another single mama and the idiosyncrasies/frustrations of mothering solo are understood completely. It clicks and it’s nice for someone else to get it. 

It’s the easiest most difficult thing but it’s so worth it. Mentally, physically, & emotionally exhausting….. Only by the Lord’s strength & grace, yea?

So. I talked about ‘a keeper’ today over on Instagram. They’re so good. You know the ones in your life who allow you to be who you are at any given moment with understanding and grace? They get it when you’re crying & talk you through it, and they get it when you’re at your absolute best. One of those keepers I cried with today and shook my head at “people would never know how strong you really are. Yea you look like you have it all together but very few people really know……” People don’t ever know what you’re really going through. Some of our days are absolutely fantastic and others you just barely get through. It’s okay. Literally okay.

Just want to encourage all the mamas, all the everyones (y’all know I will make up a word in a minute. Just roll with it) to be and breathe. You aren’t a hot mess …. Speak more highly of yourself. If you even categorizing yourself as that, it’s because you’re working/serving your tail off for your family… It’s because you’re making things happen. That’s amazing. Not only is it totally negative (let’s not get on women empowerment & self image & positive self talk today) but it puts you in a negative head space. 

You’re doing it. Everyday. Even as you say “I don’t know how I’m going to do it” you’re literally doing all the things that make your family’s world go round. And, if you really think about it…. Things are going pretty well for you, too. Even when it’s hard. The pruning process hurts and is hard, but so beneficial in the end. All things work together for our good…….. Usually because we’ve matured and developed along with things going well. When our perspective changes, our world view does, too. 

No need to compare yourself, mama. We’re all exhausted people eating leftovers from our kids’ plates, scheduling lives and making things happen. It looks easy for the mama next to you, but she’s working just as hard as you are. If no ones told you, you’re amazing and you’re doing a good job. Don’t believe me? Pay a bit more attention to your kiddo’s lingering hugs, their random kisses, and their desire to be close to you…. It’s because you’re fantastic. And you matter. YOU. Not only the things that you do, but YOU. YOU, your person, personality, perspectives, skills/gifts matter. 

Enjoy your night. Sleep well(ish) & wake up renewed & worthy of a second look and a thank you. You deserve it.


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