me, too.

me tooI saw this on a Facebook friend’s timeline and it just made my heart so heavy and light at the same time.

There are so many times we watch our friends go through hurts and difficult experiences and we want to fix them right up. We want to bandage their wounds, fill them with comforting words and tasty food and wine, and send them off with perfect step by step instructions of “if I were you” kind of advice… But, y’all, while we ought to share wisdom and there are time we have to say hard things, everything has a perfect time. We look at other women from afar in difficult situations or hurting and we label them with all sorts of names and discuss the reasons why they’re in the position they’re in and what they need to do to better their situation. And, ya’ll, that’s not our job either.

When we see another sister hurting, if we know they’re hurting and going through a difficult season, our job is to love in action. Not in theory or the idea of loving someone.
Simply because we aren’t gossiping doesn’t mean we are being loving.
Love does something.
Quietly. Without selfish ambition or desire for control.
It doesn’t seek to put you down or rub your nose in your mistake.

Love stands shoulder to shoulder and digs deep with their friend. When we hurt, we usually just want a friend to sit with us, to listen to us, and feed us all the yummy food and hardcore drinks while we let it all out. We want to know that we aren’t alone. We want to know we are understood and no matter how bad the situation is or how bad our choice or response was, that we will still be loved. There is definitely a time for the tough love and words of wisdom and hard words, but when we know we are loved and accepted, we’re more likely to be receptive of that discipline.

Hurting alone is hard. It’s lonely and there is wisdom found in wise counsel, but before we begin doling out all of our well intended advice, love in action. Sit and listen…. Figure out what your friend needs and provide that and wine. Wine pairs well with everything. Then just aknowleding that while you may not have ever travelled down her road, you are there. That you love her. That she’s loved. And, if you authentically can, a “me, too, sister. Me, too.” isn’t bad either. Because on some level we have all had the same hurts – we’ve all been betrayed, hurt deeply, or just had a less than sunny day.

Never minimize who you are or can be to someone:
your shoulder against hers may be just what she needs to stand a little bit taller.

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Comments

  1. “Wine pairs well with everything” should be on a t-shirt. Great post!

  2. I completely agree with your blog, and I definitely believe since I have been working on doing less talking and more listening, I can now have those “me too, sister” moments with my bffs! And, wine doesn’t hurt at all! 😉

    • Lol. I’ll consider that!! Lol. Wine, listen, bandage if necessary. Sometimes the listening ear is bandage enough!!

  3. Me too sister should be on a tshirt. This was so good. I often want to bandage up my friends pain, this was a great reminder to just sit and listen more.

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