Grief concealed 

Even laughter can conceal a heavy heart. But when laughter ends, the grief remains.
Proverbs 14:13

I love Proverbs. I love the wisdom spoken in simplicity……. And, the “more than likely” truth  behind it.

This Proverb could be the motto of the past few years of my life. It’s been hard. Enduring back to back heartaches is so difficult, but what I know is that each heart hurt prepared me for the next one. Each heart hurt taught me a little more  about handling situations with grace & strength… with a little more stamina & perseverance… with more dependence on God, my fraility, and how stinking good He is to me.

The hurt is there & the grief remains, but more importantly, so does strength, joy, peace, endurance, long suffering, & the faith in the promise the Lord made about never leaving or foresaking me.

You guys have told me too many times how easy I make this twin mama gig look…. For whatever reason, I caught on quick, but while mothering my sweet baby girls is generally smooth-ish (tears come with the territory), the day to day is not. I’ve had friends tell they have no idea how I’m maintaining, and honestly, I don’t either -ish. I know it’s nothing I could ever do on my own, I know the Lord has hemmed me & is hiding me. But, how I’m functioning as well as I am, I believe, is all from believing what it means to be a child of God in the realest sense and trusting that He will take care of me much better than I could care for my own children on my best day. Period.

God doesn’t need any of my help. He wants me to be obedient and in my obedience, I am working along side of him. Lol. There are times when our kids have the best intentions to help us, but without directions they can make a pretty big mess. Same play, different cast.

This life isn’t easy, the Lord told us that…. And, sometimes He intentionally places  us in some   pretty dark places (I mean, hello, cross bearing Jesus), but I’m grateful that He covers us with grace and comfort. That He gives us a place to rest and refuel. Good people to lean on and walk with. And, the faith that continues to grow.

I never know what tomorrow will bring, but I know who will meet me there and carry me through.



  1. Love love love this. XO

  2. Amen!. He’s always there!!!

  3. Hang in there Mom. Some of the Mommy Days (Double in your case) are hard but yes like you said they grow you into a better individual. Life will never be rainbows and Unicorns. Live in the moment and embrace the imperfections. It’s the key to finding the joy in this HARD life!

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