tell it Thursdays

(null)So this is what I look like right now.
The not made up or dressed Alaina.
This is how the majority of my day is spent.

This is where I get emails sent and returned….  this is where my ideas/creative juices flow and are stored til they’re sketched out/texted/emailed/typed out ….. this is where my patience is stretched, where patience is given…… Where grace is needed in larger than life doses….. Where love abounds and relationships are built. It’s also where babies try to stand using mama’s belly to push off of & where her (Lakers) shirt is clung to and chest is scratched, where babies hit each other in the face but also where they hold hands. Where smiles emerge and funny voices are used….

This is the first place they were laid, the place they fall asleep.
This is where they’re most at peace.
This is where I prefer for them to be.

This mama gig is HARD……. Their cheeks are chunky, their smiles delightful, their skin soft and sweet…………… But their cries are loud and demanding, their patience for sitting alone is shorter than short. Tummy time can’t last tooooo long and they aren’t yet interested in their mat friends. (You know the animals that dangle from the play may that are supposed to be stared & swatted at? They have the staring down…. That working on hand/eye coordination – not so much.)

I find myself praying and craving patience and peace throughout the day…… Longing for a moment to myself that isn’t interrupted by cries or their feeding schedule. Then, I realize that these moments aren’t for always.  These moments count to them. That this time is for bonding and learning dependance, that this is pushing me closer to Jesus in a different way…… That what I WANT to do and sometimes need to do, has to take a backseat. It has to wait. I have to wait. And, yes, they have to wait, too. But, no matter who is in the “wait”, patience, forgiveness, and grace is needed so desperately.

This is where we grow, one of the many ways we earn the right to be called “mama”. This is where we are pruned, where we bear our fruit, and where it’s ripened. It’s in the sacrifice. It’s when our babies are screaming, when they’re clinging to us, and needing us the most. It’s where they learn to trust us, where they learn that we’re always ready to listen and assist (even if a little wait is needed), it’s where we learn to whisper prayers quietly in our hearts & under our breathe.

This is motherhood.

**** and, yes…… That hair. Blow dried & set on rods with Eco Styler gel & Shea Mositure smoothie…….. I’ll post a pic tomorrow so you’ll see that this crazy situation was not in vain. lol ****

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Comments

  1. Love this post. I can totally relate to craving me time but then realising ‘oh wait she is soon going to be ‘big’ and uninterested in me :(‘. Thanks for sharing this honest & real account of motherhood.

    • It’s the worst most exhausting contradiction ever, right? Wanting a break but but wanting to be away? Lol. Thank you for loving it! 🙂

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