call it experienced…



Is this not just the sweetest fetal position ever? 

So, like any woman who gives birth, one of our concerns is getting our bodies “back”. I’m not obsessive about my body or what I eat by any means but I’d be lying if I said I don’t look in the mirror and think “oh…… gawsh. I won’t ever be the same.”

I know that my girls being in the NICU has me distracted from a lot. Getting my body back being the top of the list. I can’t focus on my body when I’m spending my days with my girls – they’re more important than anything.

But, this morning, I got a bit of perspective that I appreciate more than life.

This morning, I was getting dressed in front of the mirror and I see all of the stretch marks that grace my sides and surround my belly button. While I was pregnant I didn’t mind because my belly was full and the stretch marks didn’t seem so bad. But now that there are no babies filling me, everything is much looser and kinda deflated. So, my marks seem more pronounced.

I literally said, “My body is ruined.”
Then, my very next thought was, “No, honey… it’s experienced.

I have had the glorious opportunity to experience a pregnancy… a pregnancy unassisted by medicine, one that wasn’t accompanied by the stress of “getting pregnant”, one that completely a surprise. Something that I didn’t think would ever happen. I’ve had to go through fertility treatments, I’ve had to deal with the disappointment of failed attempts month after month and it was devastating.

I had the opportunity to carry twins… to experience them grow… to feel them kick and squirm… to watch them breathe, hiccup, yawn, and move.

This pregnancy has allowed me to experience motherhood. Looking at my girls everyday reminds of how blessed we are, how faithful our God is, and how sweet life can be.

This pregnancy was something I thought I would ever experience and if it caused me to have a few stretch marks – so be it.

My body may or may not return to it’s pre-pregnancy size…. I don’t know how long my little pooch will be. But, it’s alright. It truly is okay. Would I like for my mid section to be nice and tight? To be flat? To not show that life even existed inside of me before? I don’t know.

What I do know is that there’s no need to rush the process of getting back into shape…. especially after carrying two! There’s no need to stress and add even more (self-induced) pressure. We’ll get there. I mean between my incredibly high blood pressure and waiting for my milk to come in, worrying about my body isn’t going to help anything.

As new moms, we are bombarded with so many images and perspectives that tell us what we should look like after having our children. Yes, I think it’s stinking awesome that many of my friends have amazing bounce back a month or two after having their babies. But, that isn’t everyone’s story for whatever reason. Obviously, the more children you carry, the more difficult it could be to come back. I’d encourage every new mama, including myself, to focus on being healthy first. Caring for yourself first. And, giving yourself time to heal, recover, and lose however much weight you gained over the last 8-10 months. Time. It’s alright to look like you had a baby/babies – you did!

Love yourself. Love your experience. Love the time it takes and don’t rush yourself. And, remind me to do the same! And, when we do get the all clear to work out – let’s be gentle with ourselves. Eating well is the first step in getting pre pregnancy self back…. so we can start that NOW. Can we start there? Together? Postpartum or not…….. you in? 🙂



  1. Great post. I am definitely a fan of my post partum body. It’s totally a reminder of what my body went through and the miracle God gave to us. At first I looked at my belly and thought about never wearing a two piece again but who am I kidding? I’ve always been a one piece girl. Lol!

    • Thank you! Girl, I can’t say I’m a fan…. I’m more supportive & understanding. Lol. But, yes, its definitely a reminder of the beauty made from ashes. 🙂

  2. I’m in 🙂 I suspect when the twins get home and especially if you nurse, the weight will begin to fall off. You are in your post-partum period with high bp, so take it easy. It is also stressful traveling back and forth to the NICU. Moments of stress from anything in your post-partum days can hit hard and unexpectedly.

    So don’t worry about the beauty marks from your pregnancy. Enjoy them and enjoy the babies. Everyone told me but it didn’t really sink in for months. Enjoy the time when they are teeny – you don’t get that sweet time back and it goes by very quickly.

    • Yay! I’m hoping the nursing helps. But, you’re right – my main focus is my health and my girls. The NICU isn’t fun, they make it as comfy as possible but i hate missing so much of their day. I cant say its stressful but i also think my body handles my stress in a different way. I could never tell when my bp would sky rocket. I felt the same as when it was normal which is the scary (and stressful) part.
      And, teeny tiny they are! I’ll def soak it all the way up! I love their size and newborn-ness!!

  3. Learning to love your post baby body is hard but it won’t look like that forever. The marks do fade over time. Enjoy cuddling those sweet little girls of yours!!

  4. Delandrea Rule says

    Oh Alaina, I cried the first time I saw my twins post partum body and my my husband had to remind me that the most beautiful beings had just been made through my body. Be gentle on yourself, I have to remind myself daily of this. I’m definitely in with you to start with healthier eating! I gained 70 ppounds during my twin pregnancy and about 35 came off from breast feeding but I’m struggling getting the rest off. Just take care of yourself first and I Love you Mommy!

  5. All the comments are great feedback and you will soon have your body back. Some women bounce right back but for others it may take a little more time. You already realized the importance of everything… God had given us our bodies to do an amazing thing… giving birth to his precious gifts that he has blessed us with… Pace yourself…don’t stress yourself…love your new body for it has done an amazing thing…

  6. Take care! Those NICU nurses are a blessing like no other!! I had my little one at 34w 3days and also developed a sever case of preeclampsia (what a doosey)!!! I wish you a speedy recovery your babies will be home soon!! Merry Christmas!!!!

    • Thank you so much! Same here….. And the spike in BP & pre-eclampsia was so. sudden. We delivered at 34.1. And a week later my ankles/feet are STILL swollen. 🙁 cant wait to be back to 100%!!

  7. You are in the early stages your body will be back, Not as it was of course, but it will get back to normal. You have done such a beautiful thing, you brought life into this world with your body as their shelter! Yes, you will feel a little anxious about the change but trust me you will not miss a beat! I also had pre-e so I know the feelings you experienced.

Leave a Reply