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We lost this sweet girl today. Adoption proceedings are still on the table, we have another trial in the coming month. But, what’s actually coming next we don’t know.

On one hand,  I’m so disappointed that it happened this way, that such disgusting and terrible lies were told. That there is no regard to the law or truth or speaking the truth under the law. I said before that parents have a right to their children and I meant that, there’s just a right way of going about it. Lies and deception only win for a little while.

On the other hand, I find it truly funny and sad in a very pitiful way. Sad that you don’t believe that you can do the right thing and win. Granted, we did the right thing and didn’t get what we wanted today but I believe that this will work together for my good, that being honest and doing what’s right will benefit me. 

I know that justice isn’t always served in this life. That sometimes we lose the tough battles, that it seems as if our enemies and lies and all that is evil is always winning, but over and over again we are told that we are overcomers and that Jesus wins. Right wins in the end. Consequences of sin are real, God sees it all and deals with it justly at the right time, in the right way.

I’m working my way past the anger and pity and moving towards forgiveness.

I know we’re on the right side. I know the truth. That will never change no matter what is said. I have to have peace in that and let everything else go. Even though we wish, wish, wish that things were made right immediately, God can do much more than I or any court system ever could.

We are neither worried about running from God or covering ourselves and nor do we have to worry about defending our character or our reputations; we run to Him and find peace and joy. We find safety. We find comfort in the unpleasantries of this life.

Greater is He that is within me than he that is of this world……. and, because of the greatness and example of our Christ, we don’t have to go out of our way to fight or make a huge fuss. We are kept and protected. We’re standing in the light! and that light is warm, it’s bright, it holds no secrets and fears nothing.

I miss that sweet girl so much already and I know that we may never see her again, but I am grateful for the love, peace, stability, and Jesus that we were able to provide her with for the time that we were able to spend with her. The prayers that were prayed over her, the people that have and are praying for her.

Yes, I am heart broken but I am at peace. I’ve cried and I know those tears won’t be the last that are shed. Yes, I’m sad and disappointed, but I’ve also laughed because I know that there is more to my story than this. This doesn’t change who I am in Christ, Jesus still lives, I still belong to Him and that is what matters. That can never be taken away and He is the one that gives me strength and a life, not a child.

We will be okay. We will be just fine. We won’t stop trusting God, we will have difficult days and you may see me with teary eyes but our faith is not shaken. It’s like being on a terrifying roller coaster ride or being in great fear of something or someone – you don’t run from the one you know who can protect you, you run towards them. You do all that you can to get to them and you cling to them so tightly with all that you can. God is our refuge and our strength. We will be ok.

And, I totally feel as if I sound like an old church mother waving a little lace hankie….. lol…… But, it is what it is.

“It’s going to be alright.”

Post Jam: Arms that Hold the Universe by 33 Miles (OMG…. have you heard this song?!)



  1. No words to say…but we will continue to pray and continue to wait. WORTH THE WAIT. I miss our sweet Drew already too so I can only imagine what it is for you. Get it though Mother with the hankie! God IS our refuge and strength! Cyber hug to you and your hubby!


  2. What a beautiful light you shine for Him, even in the midst of pain and sadness! Praying for His will and His continued peace and love to wash over your family! xoxo

  3. Praying for you guys- I’m in years reading this and my heart aches for you & I don’t even know you {friend of Tobi}…..I do love & admire your faith & love of Jesus. I hope Tobi will update as she can when you are able to update.

  4. Oh my sweet friend! I’m stunned and heartbroken for you and your family tonight. Thankful that your story is not finished. Love you! Prayers and hugs!!

  5. So so sad for you today but so encouraged by your unshakeable faith! we are praying for you guys! He works good. He is faithful!

  6. Another song that is amazing and I feel will speak to your spirit is “You make me brave” & “It is well” by Bethel off there newest album You make me brave. Praying for you because our God Reigns. Another one to listen to is Forever by Bethel with Kobi Jobe.

  7. Sending love and hugs you way hun. Stay strong but don’t ignore the humanness….cry, laugh, throw something, scream…do whatever but always know that you and hubby are blessed folk who are loved by MANY!

    • Thank you! Definitely being human!!! Things are getting better everyday so I’m grateful for that!! Thank you!!

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