… crayon therapy

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I love to color.
Love as in I have a box of 96 ct Crayola crayons that have the most random colors in it like glitter crayons. Glitter. These crayons color sparkly. With all that is girly inside of me, I love it.
Took me a while to trust it, too. But, they really color with a shimmer.

It’s very childlike and I’m sure a therapist has something theory on why I haven’t let go of such a love, but I enjoy it. To my defense I don’t color in coloring books but create binder covers & random “works of art” that are posted in various places. I can’t help it.

I’m not writing about coloring for the sake of coloring…….

I’ve noticed that many of the new year, new me postings in social media surround relationships. Getting rid of people, letting a few go, or even “wanting” to go into the year “one deep”.

Rather than getting rid of everyone (save those who really are detriments to & bad influences on you), I believe that one of the most impactful changes any of us could decide to make is changing how we handle our relationships.
While some really do thrive on drama within relationships, I would dare say that more than anything we want peaceful, loving, and harmonious relationships. We want to have fun, experience high levels of excitement, and feeling desired, enjoyed, and as if this relationship we’re in is worth the work. We want to enjoy our lives with those who are in it.

However, in order to have these kinds of relationship with consistency, we have to change the way we see ourselves, others, and our motives behind what we do. When we realize that we are just as fallible and imperfect as the one who offended us, we’re more likely to and more quickly show grace/mercy & forgive. When we understand that we have offended others just as harshly, intentionally, unintentionally as we’ve been offended – that offense is easier to understand. Romans says we are all the same. Therefore, forgive and be kind. If for no other reasons aside from the fact that you’ve been forgiven & shown mercy & want to continue to be treated in that manner.

In order to have peaceful relationships, we have to take the focus off of ourselves and place it where it belongs – on God & others.
One of the wonderful things I’ve learned about marriage is that if you take care of them, they will take care of you. What wasn’t told is that definitions of “take care” can be different but varying definitions doesn’t minimize the effort or intent behind the actions. We have to see our relationships with everyone that way, just because something isn’t done when or how you would like it done, doesn’t mean that 1. it wasn’t done or 2. it isn’t acceptable. Be open!!!!! It’s beneficial to you in the long run.

James 4 tells us that we fight amongst each other because we don’t have what we want, we want what other people have, or we aren’t getting what we ask for. So we fight.
We’re unfulfilled, angry, disappointed, jealous, unsuccessful, impatient, and lack the correct motives.

We are unhappy and easily frustrated and don’t know why. We think it’s because of how other people treat us, but it’s because of what we lack on the inside. We don’t have a relationship solidly rooted in Christ; we aren’t connected enough to want to be like him in every situation with every person we encounter. We aren’t patient, kind, long suffering (we don’t feel as if we should have to put up with anything), or gentleness. Sometimes, it feel can feel like we don’t even know how to be kind and gentle to some who have hurt us so deeply.

So, why aren’t we getting along when we try to hard to make things work?? We fight because we aren’t trusting God for what we want. We’re looking to others to provide the things that only God can give us – peace & joy.

If you really think about it, no matter what the issue is it can be boiled down to wanting a change NOW because it’s hurting/offending/creating issues for you (or your children, or other people). No matter how valid your complaint or right your perspective is – whatever change you are seeking will take time & a change of attitude/heart/desire if you want it to be consistent. And, that change will require a God move on the other person’s heart. Yes, we can say “they should want to because of (enter your position/their status/etc) but the truth of the matter is you have been in situations that require a change that you haven’t quite made because of one reason or another.

Grace. Forgiveness. Mercy.

We are all people. So before you go deleting folks from your contact list or adding names/numbers/emails to your blocked list, think about the grace you’ve been given from God & how He expects you to treat others because of it. Relationship statuses and how often you interact may change, but how you interact never should.

But if we aren’t careful in our responses, tone, facial expressions, and focus- we can lose out on some really great people and opportunities due to our lack of perspective.
That’s not to say that every person deserves to be in every sector of your life, but everyone you come across and have some sort of relationship with, should be treated with that anyway kind of love. The love that says you’re kinda off/selfish/rude/deceitful, but I’ll Jesus love you anyway.

That’s the love that honors God, the love that wears down walls & brings out the best in those around us.

I know I don’t want to end up with a box of 5 crayons when I can enjoy the 96. All 96 may never be used every time I sit down to color, I may not use one for a while; but isn’t it great to alway be able to go back to something because you treated it well?

Burnt bridges and nasty attitudes are never beneficial – that road you’re on is a circle, not a straight line.

…. here’s to tough lessons learned by one who wasn’t always nice and still struggles.

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Comments

  1. As a therapist, I use Color Therapy frequently, with adults and children. Coloring is very therapeutic! It reduces stress, anxiety and brings an overall calm to our mind and body! I want to find those sparkly crayons you were talking about! Keep spreading your joy as you have no idea what a great thing you are actually sharing!

    • I love to color….. Lol. It’s therapeutic to me so I can imagine how calming it is to a child!!! The sparkly Crayons came in the monstrosity size Crayon box! Lol. Lots of variety there!

      • I would love some feed back on my series if historic coloring books. I’m doing a series of coloring books from 9 different cities I’ve lived andcworked in where the important historical places are rapidly disappearing.
        The book are geared for
        Both 2nd graders em who are reading to get interested in asking questions about things they see and wonder about but aren’t taught their importance. And for elderly who can use them to exercise their brains and dexterity in their Ah, moments as they rember.
        I think it is a way
        of getting everyone to be more aware of their history and their own powers of observation.

  2. This has blessed me in so many ways! Thank you! Only God will lead me to read this at this much needed time

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