…. because Christ was born

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So, today, we began our baby registry.

And, I cried.

No matter what, I’m thankful for God’s goodness. I cannot. Cannot. Cannot get over the fact that we are actually preparing to adopt twin girls.
The more we prepare, the more emotional I get.

The more adorable, teeny clothes I buy, the more I dream of what their personal style will actually end up being.

I wonder who they’ll be and what our relationship will be like. If we’ll drive Thomas up the wall with the pink, tulle, crafts, gifts, & such.

If they’ll be smiley or a bit more standoffish when they arrive. Which baby will be serene and which one will be more sassy??

I’m wondering who God is preparing us to raise. I’m wondering about the struggles before us.
Things I’ve never really considered before – I automatically believed that they would be healthy – most babies are of will be soon after. Right?
If they’ll be quick learners, have to study a lot, be into their education or will they not care about school? – every mother/teacher’s stressor.
Will they have delays or will they do things early – no mama wants their babies behind the curve, yea?

I’m thinking that this could very well be the last holiday season we have on our own.

Adoptive mamas will say how they year for their babies while they wait & I thought it was just an impatience. Wanting time to speed up a bit so that babies can be born or brought home. It’s a feeling I didn’t understand but am becoming all too familiar with now.

I believe that feeling comes from a protective instinct and the other natural desires to finally have that baby you’ve ached for in your arms.

I’m thinking of how unfair life can be and how, for the most part, we do nothing to receive the cards we’ve been dealt; but, here we are.

I want my girls. I pray for them in so many ways.

And, as I wait for them, I learn more and more to entrust them to God.

My favorite Christmas song is Oh, Holy Night. I love that it is a song of hope…. That it praises our Savior for who he will be. It praises him for doing what he promised He would – even before He did it.
My favorite line “a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices” ………..
I love that God gave us someone to put our hope in. Somewhere to find peace and rest.

As my heart quakes at the idea and reality of my girls making their debut so soon…………. This adoption process – which proves so difficult for every mama who has ever experienced this amazing blessing; I’m glad to be reminded through a song that has (seemingly) NOTHING to do with adoption, that God has sent us someone who can calm weary, terrified, & anxious hearts.

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