… motivation


What motivates you? What drives you? What inspires you to kick it up and notch and GO?!

I’m curious because I’ve had two conversations today about my hair (I’ll explain) & what the decisions boil down to is motivation.

So, I’m natural. Meaning, I do not use any chemicals on my hair. I wear my hair in its natural state – curly.

20130908-122355.jpg I recently took out my twists and yesterday went to the salon to get a deep conditioner and my hair straightened.

Now, I do not like to have my hair straightened. I’ve only had it straightened once before to get my ends trimmed and it wasn’t even really straight because I asked the beautician not to put much heat on it.

So I had my hair straightened in real life this time, and I love it! It absolutely takes me back to my relaxed hair days and I’m enjoying it. However, by the end of the week, I’m sure, my hair will be washed and curly once again. (Because of rain and humidity and everything Houston will ruin my flat ironed, bone straight hair!)

So, I had a couple of conversations today about my hair and about how my husband likes it straight. Even though he prefers it straight, I wear it curly. Men in particular tsk at this choice (I understand why) but there’s nothing that motivates me to make another choice. (Yes, besides my husbands preference. Gasp.)

So this is the dilemma.

In order for my hair to look as amazing as it looks now, I’d have to spend hours in a salon every week. (Which I do not miss).
I enjoy working out and I work up a sweat. I’m not one of those girls who doesn’t work up a sweat when they work out. I know a couple and there are days I envy you. Lol. So, my hair wouldn’t last very long if I were to straighten it. And, by very long I mean a day.

For these two reasons individually & combined, wearing my hair straight would be a total waste of time.

Unless….. Th motivation to do it outweighed my love for my curls, time, & convenience. And, pretty hair.

So far. That hasn’t happened.

Then, (after this long story), my mind started moving towards behavior in relationships. How we’re influenced and motivated.

I’m wondering if we and our spouses knew exactly what motivated us to cook when we don’t feel like it, serve when we’re exhausted, spend time when our favorite show is on, etc – how much sweeter life would be. Now, LIFE forces – not motivates. We cook when we don’t feel like it because we’re hungry. I’m not talking about doing what’s required. I’m talking about serving and submitting when it’s the exact opposite of what we feel like doing. THAT is motivation. Cooking your spouses favorite meal after a long day is motivated by something! (Hopefully, pure reasons & not manipulative ones!) but, it’s more than likely their enjoyment of the meal and the gratitude that’s shown towards you that encourages you to work so hard to please your spouse.

I encourage you to take a time out and figure out what motivates you. I believe that when we realize what moves us, we’re better equipped to ask for what we like and get the support we need. Your friends/spouses knowing this about you will also be a great help in a more peaceful, enjoyable relationship!

This week- I challenge YOU & I’m definitely challenging myself to pay a bit more attention to your spouse this week and maybe have a conversation about what motivates and drives them. Then, put it into practice. If you already know, learn a new way to praise & encourage your spouse.

After all, we see the best in them. We see the good & potential in them that they may not see – as their partner, it’s up to us help them be the best they can!

…. here’s to learning our spouses and becoming their biggest cheerleaders!


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