… like a ton of bricks

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I want a baby.

Which seems obvious because we are in the process of adopting, but this is the first time in a very long time I’ve felt this.

A fervor, a strong desire that feels like a need, an emotional pull. A must.
I haven’t cried over wanting a baby in quite some time….. I don’t even remember when the last time I cried about a baby was. But, today…… out of nowhere, here I am, tears flowing down my face as the thought “I want a baby.” came and went.

I don’t know what this is the beginning of, but I’m thankful that I am anchored and ready for what could come next. I’ve enjoyed life post the “I-can’t-have-a-baby” rollercoaster/darkness. And, I am in no way planning or hoping to go back through that the same way I did a few years ago.

I’ve found peace & contentment where we are. I’m so thankful and glad to be adopting. I know our time is coming. I know and believe that God hears us and is comforting us as we wait.

So, whyyyyyyyyyyy this now?!

I’m trusting God’s timing. Trusting His words when He says in Ecclesiastes 3:11 that He makes all things beautiful in their own time. Trusting that we are being prepared for our future accomplishments and blessings. Trusting that His plans for us are for our good and His glory….. That He has the most amazing plans for our lives. That He is with us even until the end of the age.

I know these plans will cause us and everyone who hears our story to worship and glorify Him in a mighty way.

Oh, thank you God for Your goodness and grace. For your plans and omniscience. Comfort me and lead me in our wait. You are mine and I am yours- thank you for loving me with an unconditional love forgives, redeems, and renews. Thank you for keeping me during the worst, I know that you will forever be by my side. Amen.

…. here’s to trusting a God who will never leave you, who had thoughts of you before the creation of the world, who dresses you better than the lilies of the field, & loves you with a fierceness.

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