… join the movement and let your voice be heard

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This has been an amazing week of support and banning together for many women in our communities who struggle with infertility across the country.

And, I am glad to be apart!

I believe and will forever stand on the fact that infertility has made me who I am. I am not ashamed of my diagnosis. I’m grateful for the opportunity to publicly share my experiences and what I’ve learned through this chapter in my life with other women who walking the same path as I am. It’s given me a confidence in who I am and how I was created, as well as the realization that there is power in my voice. In my words. And, how I choose to use my words and voice to encourage and support others.

My husband and I were told that there could be issues with our fertility as newlyweds as we were talking to our doctor and planning to expand our family the next year. We didn’t think much of it for another 8 months or so. When we felt it was time to move forward with baby planning, we followed the advice of a friend and began working with an endocrinologist in the spring of the next year. My doctor’s concerns were confirmed and I was crushed.

At that point, I began blogging. I wanted to document our journey through infertility for myself. I took a deep breath, launched my blog, and posted my “coming out” on Facebook. For the next months, I poured my heart out on the pages of this blog … telling each step of our fertility treatments, how I felt in each stage, and where my heart was. There were some pretty dark and detailed moments written on those pages and at times I thought that I was stuck in one place. I thought that we would always dance in the same circle. Same motions. Same song.

The more I wrote, the more support poured in. Women I knew and didn’t know, alike, would email and comment telling me of their difficulties and struggles. Women I went to high school and college with who struggled with infertility and the possibility of never being able to conceive children due to other medical situations they endured. The stories I’ve heard are heart wrenching. I realized that there are so many women who are struggling with such pain privately and alone. I realized how taboo it was. How socially unacceptable it is. I understood why no one talks about infertility. Why no one discusses how it affects you over lunch. I understand the pain of wincing and coiling at comments, the awkwardness of dodging questions, and heaviness of bearing your roughest days alone.

Now that my husband and I have chosen to adopt, we’ve taken on another socially “strange” journey! There aren’t many people we know who have chosen to adopt children in order to expand their families, so we have an amazing opportunity to expand the thoughts and preconceptions many have about adoption, those who adopt, and the adopted. It’s exciting and I’m enjoying the process, the amazing families I’m meeting, and hearing all these stories.

{{ I adore the communities we’re apart of and bask in the strength of these families and women. }}

I’ve learned that discussing adoption (and, infertility) can be quite difficult but I take on the task of informing with a protective, yet patient and understanding tone because I understand the real ignorance (by definition) that leads to bias and offensive questions. I know that many people aren’t exposed to adoption and aren’t open to it, therefore they have questions, comments, and notions that are misguided and very random at times. lol. I don’t believe anyone means harm …. the majority  of people just don’t know. They don’t know what’s appropriate or inappropriate, they don’t understand the mental and emotional anguish that you endure through this process. They don’t know how hurtful their questions and comments can be.

…. All because they are unaware.

Remaining silent is not an option for me. I know that the more I speak out, kindly educate those who unintentionally offend, and just live my life without allowing my diagnosis to define me, the easier it will be for other women to confidently stand alongside me. Battling with me. Struggling, laughing, crying, celebrating, and rejoicing with me as we travel this road together.

I realize that not everyone is driven to write and bear their life and soul in such a public way. I also know that there isn’t just one way to go about educating our families, coworkers, and communties about infertility, treatments, and adoption. For that, I am grateful. I am glad to be apart of such a large community of women who believe that it’s worthwhile to discuss our issues, support each other, and educate the public on issues that will at some point affect someone they know.

I am even more grateful for the friends, family, and the friends that became family who show their unwavering love and support throughout such difficult times. It makes the successes and celebratory moments that much sweeter.

Ah! So I encourage you to join the movement. Educate yourself so that you can be a benefit to others. Use your voice to advocate, support, and encourage those around you.

We need you.

… here’s to dancing in thedownpour and loving every minute of it! There is good in everything… if we are open enough to receive it.

//click these links to learn more about infertility and National Infertility Awareness Week!!! //
***** http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  *****
***** http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html *****

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Comments

  1. Hi Alaina! I’m here from NIAW. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for speaking up so proudly and boldly about your infertility and your decision to adopt. It’s not always easy to “come out,” but I love the fact that you have made this step with such dignity. I also am so thrilled for you as you head down the road to adoption. What a beautiful journey. My hope and prayer for you is that God surrounds you with people who will reach out to you and support you in whatever ways you need it. I hope that your very first match goes through without a hitch and that God will care for your future child and the birth mother of that child moment by moment. Blessings on the next steps in your process.

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