… connected

God puts the most random people in the most random places at the most random times………………..

(…. if you follow me on Instagram (amayes) or twitter, you’ve seen this picture already. This picture has nothing to do with this post but I took it this weekend and it’s definitely on the top of my favorites list!)

It’s funny how a night of celebration with a friend leads to connecting with a stranger over shared heartache.

Saturday night, Thomas and I met a guy and our conversation started like any other conversation usually does. Both our group and his were celebrating – ours a birthday, his an engagement…. so the conversations moved from the celebrations to careers to family to renting vs owning your own home. We found out that our new found friend was a married man of four years who’s a broker and owns a couple of dogs….. So, while we’re talking about renting/owning and living the different parts of town, Thomas mentions our plans of trying to start a family and moving to a larger place in the near future.

So the conversation shifted.
Our friend and his wife are working on a family, as well…….
And, they’re struggling with infertility.

We literally talked through our procedures, surgeries,failures, feelings, frustrations, and plans…….. It still amazes me when we meet people who are going through the same things because you do feel very alone, very broken, and somehow ostrasized from the rest of the world. Almost like the kid chosen last for kickball during recess. You see your friends and family members chosen constantly….. and, although there are NO ill feelings and nothing but pure happiness for those around you, every time there’s an announcement, it’s just another reminder of what you’re unable to do.

Our new friends do want to adopt in the case that they aren’t able to have their own……. I’m not quite sure what we’re going to do but we have about a year to figure it all out.

I’ve been asked a lot recently if we’re done trying and, I assure you, we’re not. We haven’t tried for very long but I know our road is coming to an end quite soon and it’s scary. I’ve thought about what will happen if our treatments are unsuccessful – “what we’d do”….. obviously, the answer is “live our life” but still….. what would we do?
Living as D.I.N.K.S. (Dual Income, No Kids) doesn’t sound appealing at all. Not even a little bit.
Adoption is an option – I know Thomas is interested….. I’m going to start researching agencies and their procedures…….

I’m hoping for nothing but success for our friends while they go through their next procedure. I do understand. It’s not fun. I know. And, I’m with you.


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