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… quiet time

I’m home alone, lying on the couch in complete silence aside from the ticking clock and street traffic…………… Trying to spend some quiet time with God. Being proactive, a thinker, a helper, a do-er (of sorts) it’s tough to just sit and not try to figure out what I could be doing besides “wasting time” just sitting.

I think we so often try to occupy our time with doing something, that we miss the peace that comes with just sitting with God. There are times I write, pray etc but today…. I’m just thinking and allowing Him to lead/guide my thoughts. It’s nice to just go along and not have to manage, plan, or figure out. Just follow the slight nudges and see where it takes you – in peace.

I appreciate this day of rest and I plan to do nothing but lay here on this couch thinking and resting and acting only when nudged to. 🙂

One thing that’s on my mind are all of you women who have come out of the woodworks with support, stories, and prayers for me and my family. I don’t even know what to say. You have been amazing and I appreciate you. Starting this blog came from obeying a “nudge” and I’m already so grateful that it’s in existence.
If there was one thing I wish was not a common denominator between myself and those in a similar situations – is the similar situation….but, I am glad I know about you. I’m glad you know about me. 😉 We’re in this together!

There is a God and I know He has a plan for our lives, HE knows He has a plan for our lives and it is to bring Him glory. However He choses to do that – I think our main focus should center around being willing and honored to be used by Him….. Even if the way He choses to use us isn’t the most desirable in our minds. He could have chosen someone else.

One thing I was determined NOT to do was be ashamed of how God created me and this course He put me on. Why should I be? Understanding that being unable to naturally reproduce can sometimes make me feel “less than” – this is how God created me, fashioned me. Who I am to be ashamed of being who I am? A creation of GOD?!

I am who I am. How I am. And, if God so chooses to allow me to (take part in) filling the Earth with little Jesus’ – I will be honored. If He choses to have me “mother” in a different way, I’ll be just as honored with that, as well.

I pray I am reminded of these thoughts when I’m down & having nights like I did last night…. I’m praying that these new thoughts are taking root and will overshadow all negativity. Prayerfully.

He has a purpose for our lives and I promise it does not include living with feelings of shame, anger, resentment, and isolation.

I plan to use the time I have to grow closer to Him, learn to depend on Him, and allow Him to lead me into what He’d have me to do – while I still have the time.

…. here’s to simply trusting God, peace, and growth.




  1. Tynesha James says

    Alaina, I love you and am here for you whenever you need me… Stay strong and I will continue to pray for you…and yours 🙂

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