When first found found out I was pregnant, imagining and dreaming of what I would “be” like at every stage of the pregnancy was something that happened quite a bit. Getting out of the first trimester with both of my babes healthy and strong was definitely a goal that I felt I would never reach. 13 weeks felt so far away. But, here we are, just days a way from that mark and so far, so good. And, I’m thankful to experience a swelling belly much sooner….. I literally love the roundness and rounding of my tummy!
We made 12 weeks on Thomas’ birthday, and if I were to color a bit more in the lines it would have been the day we announced we were expecting. lol.
How are we feeling??!?!?!
Better!!! Literally every day is better and I’m so grateful for that! I’m not as worn out as I used to be and I actually woke up twice before 9a on my own. THAT is victory, my friends! I’m definitely eating a lot more. Late night snacks at midnight at even in the 2a hour (yup) are becoming the norm, as are hunger pangs right after I finish eating and declaring myself ”full”! lol.
What’s going on with the bump?!?!
It’s growing…. OMG. And, I love every bit of it. What makes it even more fun is that other people can see the week by week progress so that makes me feel a lot less delusional about the fact that I “have a bump”! lol. Shopping has become quite interesting as I try so hard to wear “regular” clothes and find dresses that can kindly stretch around my bump, but that’s proving to be very difficult. I’m starting to step into reality and bought a few pieces at Motherhood maternity that I’m really, really excited about wearing. I reasoned with myself that it’s a lot smarter to buy clothes that would grow with me and wouldn’t look like I was trying way to hard. lol
So, how are you feeling?!
I’m so thankful as my babies and sweet babes grow. So thankful that I get to see my babies at every appointment. I laugh that these appointments have nothing to do with me other than my weight (which I’m praying has increased more than a little bit) and blood pressure. My Dr. is so patient and takes her time with us, that she allows us to watch the babies move and roll around in their sacs, I’m grateful that she doesn’t rush through our ultrasound or questions! I’m also grateful for the opportunity to see the babies at every appointment. I’m realizing that most mamas only get a few ultrasounds throughout their pregnancy and I’m glad that we get to see our sweet kiddos every month! A perk of being high risk! lol.
Way back, I posted a poem about how it felt to be infertile as you painfully watch all of your friends and family become moms and as they painfully watch you struggle. To be on the inside of the Chateau now, mingling and exchanging experiences, belly rubs, and joys with other mamas has been the most amazing experience. Now that I’m on the inside, watching as other mamas and mamas to be struggle particularly due to losing their babies is so very difficult especially after coming & going the way I have over the past months. It’s hard to find your place again. I’ve learned that motherhood wells up entirely different kinds of fears that I believe nothing else could, one of those fears would be losing your child. My heart goes out to these mamas who have lost their babies….. 4 mamas in the past couple of months. It’s heartbreaking and difficult but knowing that God redeems us, repairs our hearts, and has a plan for our lives which surpasses anything we could ever dream is the ultimate comfort.
There’s a list of things I ‘can’t wait’ for…. a list of things I want to see and experience… a never ending sea of questions I have about you. I try not to rush through the days to get to the ‘next’ thing, but work hard to enjoy every moment. Knowing that while each passing day brings me closer to having you in my arms, it’s a day that you need to grow strong and develop well. I won’t rush you, take your time. I’ll be right here waiting for you… (This is one of my absolute favorite songs in the entire world… lol)
Post Jam: Stay With Me by Sam Smith