I ran across this quote on Facebook this morning and have thought about it all day. The truths and promises referred to in this one little quote served as an amazing reminder and has definitely been a source of comfort.
Facebook is known for being a place to announce and update. I’ve noticed that there always seem to be announcement spikes…… Surges of “I’m pregnant!!!”, “I’m engaged!!”, or “Here is baby!!!” announcements seem to come all at once.
This time last year and the year before, these pregnancy/baby announcements would have sent me reeling; there would have been tears that flowed in darkness and an anger and bitterness towards God and myself and my situation that wouldn’t allow me to see that God was with me. That He loved me. That He heard and saw me.
I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see God.
And, today……. That breaks my heart.
We decided to adopt in December and started moving towards that goal in January. Everything we planned for the year was/is now up in the air because we just don’t know when or where or how things are going to pan out.
But, there was one thing I (thought) I knew.
Mother’s Day is coming up and for the first time in years, I thought that this time, it would feel so much better than before. I thought that this would be the year it wouldn’t hurt…. That this would be the year I wouldn’t cry……. This year, I was on my way to being a mama so everything would be alright.
How wrong I was.
A few weeks after we decided to adopt, we were offered a little girl…. A week or so before she was born, the family changed their mind.
We delayed joining an agency for that little one, which set us back a month…. Then the agency set us back two….. And, here we are – apart of an agency and completing our tasks so that we’ll be presentation ready.
But, life still stings. Life is a constant reminder of what cannot and is not happening. What hasn’t happened. A picture of what won’t be experienced or felt or ever understood. I’ll constantly have questions that have answers but can’t ever truly be answered – the true depths of those answers, I’m guessing, can only be felt.
But, even with the hardships and pains of life, God has made us promises that supersede any disappointment or sadness we will ever experience here on this Earth.
Yes. The pain, frustrations, and difficulties are real. They are present. But, so are God’s promises. So is His love for you and for me. And, so is His presence.
He told us this life would be difficult. He didn’t hide that from us, He didn’t call us to be His and then hoodwink us with “Oh, by the way…. Life is going to be pretty dang on hard sometimes for ya, but you’ll get trough it!” with a pat on the back and a hearty “But, I’ll be with you!” and a smile.
He knew. He understood. He forewarned but He also promised us what He was promised by His Father.
He told us that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hewbrews 13:5). He tells us to be content with what we have, for He is with us. Content with what we have, where He has placed us, and burdens He has given us to bear. He knew it would be hard so He gave us a Comforter and promised us comfort, encouraging all who were weary and tired to draw near to Him, because He would give us rest (Matt. 11:28). It’s hard to find rest – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – when you’re caught up in what is going on around you. It’s difficult enough to escape those things and focus on anything else. Oh, but when we seek God. Seek His face. Trust in His word and lay at His feet our burdens and broken hearts, the work that He does in us and the relief that trust and believing in Him provides is beautiful. This rest is calming and peaceful. His yoke is truly easy and light. He will give you (your weary heart and broken soul) rest (Matt. 11:28-30). We can trust that He cares for us. Our Lord and Savior died for us- He loves us and cares about everything we endure for His sake. He knows His plan for us. He has a plan for us. And, that is comforting for a planner like me. There’s nothing like feeling as if there is no agenda and we’re just here because, going through these difficulties only to switch focuses a few weeks later.
This quote reminds me that I have a purpose and so does in infertility. And, so does enduring the “man-ness” of my husband, my little Martian who tries, with honor and respect. The heartbreaks and aches have purpose and behind them the promises that they will all work together for my good and His glory. (Romans 8:28…. Don’t ya just love Romans from the beginning to the end?! How great is our God!!!!! I love it! Lol)
Yes, there are pains. We will endure struggles. We will experience both good and bad. We will be tempted and tried. We will have hard times.
But, our focus isn’t this life. As believers, we know/believe/trust that this life and all of its crap is just temporary. Everything in and of it. The earth itself will pass away. It will be done away with. But, what is true. What is lasting. What is forever is our God, His presence, His love for us, eternity, our relationship with Him, our lives.
And, it will not be until we get to that point where we can enjoy the fullness of God and all that He is. We may not see all of His promises until then. We may not be healed or given what we asked for until then, but we have the faith that it will happen.
Yes, I may have to wait. Yes, I may cry and experience pains that run deep to my soul. But,there is comfort in the shadow of His wings, we are safe in His arms, and a purpose to be filled.
And, if have to do and be and experience all that I am in order to experience that, then I can go on.
I used to think that God’s hand was truly on the ones who prospered and had an easy life…… That some of us were just meant to struggle and maybe weren’t as near to God. But, oh how that’s changed.
I still believe that some of us were meant to endure more than others for the sake of the sake of the Kingdom but the level of struggle or ease will never equate to the presence of God. There is no inverse or direct relationship there. God is with us all, He sees us all. And, loves us all just the same.
What freedom and comfort I found in that truth – that God doesn’t love me any more or any less than the one whose life just seems to go just so. His purpose for them is different. At this time in their lives. Only He knows what his around the corner or what has already been endured.
The grace of God is sufficient. His love unending. His comforts second to none. There is none like Him.
… Here’s to praising God in the good & bad, trusting & believing in His promises, and taking refuge in His shadows – burdens lifted and laid at the foot of the cross.