(photos by Temi Coker… find him on Insta @temi.coker)
This past year, specifically, has been so difficult for me. From January til now, it’s been very hard… literally, no ease up. And, over the past few months I’ve worked to deal with and address (within myself) the effects and feelings of everything that’s happened even though it’s so incredibly difficult for me to do.
I would pray and read and ask God for the strength to persevere, to “be right”, to endure, and to just get whatever it is I should learn from these struggles – even if it’s patience. And, my mind would wander to all of junk that’s happened and I would end up frustrated; not even focused on God.
So, this morning, I woke up committed to just breathing and being grateful in spite of what’s happened. I know that there is so much more to be grateful for aside from and even in the middle of chaos than I’ve allowed myself to see.
Have you heard of She Reads Truth? It’s a wonderful women’s devo, I follow them on Insta, and have their app. Yes, I’m a total Stan!! I love how they use their little space on this app to encourage and speak truth… how their app is full of devos that refocus you and give you truth (not something that just sounds good) to rest in. This morning their IG posts says:
When we seek Him, we will find Him – HIs Word says it’s true. And so we give thanks. We cling to Him and to the promise of Him, and we give thanks For although we may feel lost, we know He never loses us.
No matter what I’ve gone through, God has his eye on me. And, for that I am so incredibly grateful. Oh my God, if there’s anything to be grateful for – it’s that Jesus is within me, that he’s with me. That heartache isn’t for nothing. I’m grateful that He reminds me that the most important things to be grateful for are His promises….. that because of Jesus I have something to be grateful for.
That sounds so stupid. I know. So lofty and spacey, so trite. But, when everything has shaken and the reality sets in that nothing is certain….. all the truth and solidarity you have is that Jesus is with you – you quickly realize how much we take his faithfulness for granted. How we truly DON’T depend on Him for strength, endurance, and peace. How when we pray in difficult moments for patience and then immediately respond impatiently – that we aren’t trusting Him for what He promises He can give us. For what he so graciously offers us.
I have experienced God being a redeemer.
I have experienced his faithfulness.
I know that He is a comforter & peace.
But, I’d forgotten.
I wasn’t focused.
I was afraid.
But, thankfully, I am reminded of what an amazing Savior He is.
Thankful for these girls whose lives I will forever be stilled by. I mean, I wrote back here about how Sarah and Hannah responded so differently to infertility….. I read my words, my truth about how over having my own children I was…. And, I see how this insane story has unfolded and I know that only God allowed me/us to respond to such foolishness, difficulty, hurt, and chaos the way He did. I pray for their lives daily…. pray that they have a heart for Jesus and are committed to “go slow” in trusting God. GO!!!
Thankful that I have family who double as real friends and friends who double as family who are the most supportive and encouraging…. who I can learn from and share so many hilarious and exciting memories with.
There’s always, always, always something to be thankful for……. We have just have to position ourselves to realize it and acknowledge it. Without comparing one thing against another. Without wishing and hoping things were different. Without disconnecting from life and our circumstances. But, showing gratitude for all things in the midst of having everything or having nothing because we know that although this life comes with struggle we have so so much to be grateful for.
And, finally, I am thankful that somehow this post was able to be restored. Idk what I did but I intended to publish this post and it somehow got lost and I broke down in tears. I was already talking myself through getting over it… But, now, I’m happy and can cook with a peaceful, settled mind!
Post Jam: Jesus Saves by Jeremy Camp
*** I literally love this song….. hope you enjoy it, too! ***