pressing forward

“Make the best of it.”

A gritty, mind-over-matter belief that has been the underlying tone of the past few years. That and having a hope that sees and believes that what I’m working for, working on, and working through will benefit others, my children, and myself.

Sometimes it frustrating to have this hope that won’t die and a spirit that can and does endure hard things. So, I’m learned to make the best of it. Whatever it is. And, “best” looks different on a different days.

One part of pressing forward means seeing situations with a different perspective and in a new way.

And, it sucks. It can be so very hard, it takes some real emotional maturity and fortitude to accept facts of a hard reality.

But…. it gets so good, sister. It can get so stinking good & worth the crap when we are able to develop through hard times.

One of the things I’ve had to see in a new way and redefine is the idea of a family. My picture of a family has always been parents and a child/children. So even when my ex and I were married with no children, I saw us as a couple. When we had kids, we became a family. When we split and I became a single mama ……. I didn’t know what we were. Just a woman with some kids??

I had to redefine every aspect of life and my expectations of myself, my ex and what the future could look like. The transitions were so tough and I crumbled (or felt like I did) many, many times. but if there was one thing the Lord taught me during that time was that I can get through hard things. And, better than that …. I can thrive and laugh…. my hope & strength can be restored and all things really can be made new.

You may have needed or even still be needing some really BIG things to turn around. And, if you’re like me, you may not even see and recognize how the restoration of the little things cause the BIG things to change.

The Lord began restoring my mindset. He renewed how I saw myself & my children. He restored hope in what could be and renewed my trust in Him. And, does it everyday.

Maybe you have big goals and big dreams for your business…….. focusing on the basic, small tasks could be one of many ways things can begin to move the direction you’re desiring them to go. Redefining the word “hard” and “scary” to “challenging” and “exciting” totally shift your outlook. I may not want to do something scary, but I’m always up for something exciting!

Am I suggesting you pump yourself full of falsehoods to make yourself feel good for a moment? No. I’m suggesting you scoot over a big and see the situation from a different perspective.

We’ve all received a gift we didn’t initially think was very cool or exciting. Until we flipped it over. Or started playing with it. And, understood what it did. Once we got an understanding & a different perspective, that information completely changed how we saw the gift.

Same thing.

We may be in the thick of something we don’t quite understand. We may be looking at a person or circumstances unsure of how all of this works or the benefit of this trait or that happening………… but instead of trashing it. Instead of quitting. Instead of becoming frustrated in the process, we may need to ask the Lord to allow us to see it with fresh eyes and a new understanding.

We’ll be able to make the best of anything with a Godly perspective and a willingness to be open to what he’s asking us to do while he’s working it all out for our good, but most important his glory.

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…. 2nd half

I turned 36 yesterday.

Officially in the second half of my thirties and I’m committed to continuing to walk, crawl, claw, cry, & run in the complete opposite direction of the first half. Those years were awful. but, even in their awfulness they were purposeful………. and, I’m honestly hoping that their purpose was to set the foundation for the most productive & healthy rest of my life.

Because I seriously cannot, okay?

Generally I have these grand plans for my birthday…. lots of meals and drinks and gathering and socializing that really ends up depleting me and stressing me out. I opted out this year, and ended up feeling more seen, loved, supported, encouraged, & full than I have in a very, very long time. for that, I am thankful. And, I cried. Which I hardly ever do these days……. and that is a whole post & visit with the therapist within itself.

As providence would have it, my birthday landed on my company’s largest training day of the year. Dylan, my team, and I hopped on the road and spent a day and a half with a ton of other friends from our team. I literally spent my birthday with friends. who surprised me with a cake. bought me dinner & drinks. gifts. & Rosé. It was nice & I was (still am) so grateful.

Between my big girls singing me “Happy birthday Rhyann & Logan” & giving me their biggest hugs before they left on Friday.

And Baby Sister being the perfect bring along to a work event, I’m definitely winning in the kid department.

I’m satisfied with how my spiritual life is developing.

How eye am becoming more & more of who I want to be. Clawing some days, laughing some, inching others towards progress, but we are definitely moving in a direction that is exciting. Not always fun, but exciting.

I hope. I’m praying so. Faithfully believing and working like we’re headed somewhere beyond our requests and imaginations.

What has gone through my mind is how thoughtful the Lord is to give us another chance to experience goodness after traumas and pains. He is faithful see the plan of good + prosperity to the end. And, lovingly kind to lead us away from what is old & dead to what is full & new. I’m also pretty thankful for second chances and enough awareness to recognize change is necessary & enough sense to do something about it.

The 36th year may not end perfectly but I’m committing everyday to the Lord so I know without a shadow of a doubt it will be good.

the one thing I do plan on being is happy & accomplished.

And, I’m listening to Mercy on repeat. Do yourself a favor and listen intently to the lyrics. But, prepare your heart to be filled with hope & gratitude to overflowing first. I cried hot, flowing tears listening to it Friday. It’s a good one.

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This week is my birthday week.

By the end of the week, I’ll be a whole year older, and I usually have a ton of plans that I created in an effort to celebrate myself…… (truth bomb here) because I “knew” no one else would.

Just about every year in the past, I have planned dinners and brunches and time with friends + family to celebrate my birthday. This year, I have nothing (like a literal nothing) planned and I’m not mad about it at all. Or bummed. Or disappointed. Or feeling an emptiness or yearning for a celebration at all. Or anything of that nature.

From what I can remember, most of my life I’ve done a lot of priming + prepping, initiating, maintaining, enduring, and wanting more in & from many of my relationships than the other person. And, over the past year, the Lord has been teaching me to do a lot more waiting & enjoying than “working”. My personality is set up in a way that won’t let me “be”. I’m an initiator, I’m intentional, I go after goals, & I know what I want. This is great until it’s not. There is typically a lot of establishing, tone setting, and creating and I end up pulling someone along is exhausting. It takes a toll on mental & emotional health…. it’s painful. Likely on both sides, but I mean, the other side isn’t mine to unpack.

Praise God for counseling, right? Years of weekly or bi-weekly sessions along with a natural curiosity for personality profiles, understand motives, & “self help” books. That’s what there were called 10-20 years ago. Maybe not so much today. I like to understand WHY and that natural inclination had been a major blessing.

The glaring fact that I’ve always hustled for what I never understood was already mine in Christ opened my eyes to so many things that now make so much sense. Worthiness, a place, and to be heard drove a lot of my unhealthy choices & created mindsets & beliefs about self esteem, belief in who I was & what I could do, the quality of my relationships, life happenings, & people around me that were just not accurate.

A lot of life has happened that’s driven me to the Lord that I wish I could say I really could have done without. Things that were so painful. Things that still resurface & I have to silence and speak life over. Things necessary for my personal growth & what would be required to lead + support other women.

Things that would ultimately bring healing.

Life is hard.

It’s even harder when it seems to continue to get harder.

But, what is so so good?? The grace in the details that make up every situation…. the proof that God is with me, and you. The Lord will put the best, most necessary people in our lives to hold us up & wipe us off while encouraging us to endure.

The Lord hears us.

He comes to our rescue.

He moves when we call.

He is purposeful in his timing.

Generous with his comfort, grace, & mercy.

We aren’t on our own, even while we watch the things around us literally falling apart….. he is working (and has been working) together for our good.

Because he loves us.

Have you heard Lauren Daigle’s song Rescue? You must!!

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